good news, bad news

[Seusomon]

We've all heard those jokes or stories that alternate between good news and bad news. ("A man rode his horse to market. The bad news is that the horse died along the way. The good news is that a wealthy stranger took him to market in a beautiful carriage. The bad news is that the carriage was attacked by robbers. The good news is ... ")

Let's see how long (and absurd) a tale we can spin, alternating between good news and bad.

Melanie found a twenty dollar bill on the sidewalk in front of her house. The bad news is that it turned out to be counterfeit....

[girl-who-loves-sharks]

The good news is that Melanie mailed in the counterfeit money as a contribution to the National Rifle Association. The bad news is that the NRA knew it was a counterfeit and has dispatched armed minions to "take care of Melanie."

[obsoletepostergrrrl]

luckily, melanie wasn't at home when the NRA goons got their but the bad news is that they left the refrigerator door open ad ran up her electricity bill.

[Sirius]

The good news is that the first minion to reach Melanie fell instantly, madly in love with her. The bad news is...

[Seusomon]

...that he's an emotionally unstable obsessive stalker. The good news is...

[venus28976]

he has enough money to pay her electric bill....the bad news is...

[Lilac]

he eats nothing but saurkraut and beans and she can't live in the same house with him because of the stench. The good news is....




*edited because of my crappy typing ability!

[Sirius]

being a minoin does have it's rewards, he has a large luxious safe-house she can stay in when the stench is too bad...the bad news is...

[Seusomon]

the safe house is destroyed by a hurricane while Melanie is staying there. The good news is....

[Cuilanië]

she was exploring the bunker in the basement when it happened. The bad news is...

[Seusomon]

...the basement flooded with water in less than 10 minutes. The good news is...

[Cuilanië]

This helped Melanie to find the way out of the basement. The bad news is...

[Seusomon]

...she gets extremely wet and muddy, ruining her designer footwear and handbag. The good news is...

[Sirius]

the experience makes her appreciate the important things in life, which do not include her designer footwear and handbag. The bad news is...

[Cuilanië]

All her other clothes have been destroyed with the house, so she's stuck in those wet, muddy, torn things. The good news is...

[Lilac]

She discovered a chest of gold while crawling out the muddy tunnel to escape the flood in the basement. The bad news is....

[Seusomon]

...it's too heavy to carry, and she has nothing to put the gold in, seeing as how her designer handbag is ruined. The good news is...

[Sirius]

her new stalker/boyfriend is a macguyver of sorts, the bad news is...

[Cuilanië]

...he's currently miles away, passed out because of his own stench. The good news is...

[Sirius]

she's able to hide the treasure to come back for later...the bad news is...


:huh: :huh: :huh: :huh: :huh: :huh: :huh:


:blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink:

:unsure: :unsure: :unsure: :unsure: :unsure:

Edited to add blinkers for Cuilanië. I feel like Seusomon and I are competing for her attention.

[Cuilanië]

:lol:

[Cuilanië]

*wipes off tears of laughter* {{{Rustell}}}


... the safe house is in the middle of nowhere, as befits a hideaway. The good news is...

[Sirius]

melanie has some reading she wants to catch up on, so she sets back, muddy and all and props open a book, the bad news is....

:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

[Cuilanië]

:lol::wub:


... the book is completely waterlogged. The good news is...



:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

[Seusomon]

...she remembered to pack her blowdrier. The bad news is....

:unsure: :unsure: :unsure: :unsure: :unsure: :unsure:
:blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink:
:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

[Sirius]

she can't find an outlet to plug it in...the good news is....



:blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink:
:wacko: :wacko: :wacko: :wacko: :wacko:
:wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub:





:rolleyes:

[girl-who-loves-sharks]

...a stiff wind begins to blow outside. The bad news is...

[VeronicasLovebug]

...it begins to rain. The good news is...

[Cuilanië]

... there are plenty of trees to shelter under. The bad news is...



:P ;) :D :lol: :rolleyes: :unsure: :wacko: :blink: :ph34r: :wub:
And a great big hug for both of you!

[Sirius]

she :wacko: discovers :rolleyes: she :blink: is :wub: allergic :blink: to :unsure: the :wacko: trees! :rolleyes:

the good news is...

[VeronicasLovebug]

...she brought her allergy medication w/ her. The bad news is...

[BklvrInVA]

she dropped them in the mud.

The good news is~~

[Sirius]

she falls into the mud to retrieve them, and releases the calming effects of a mud bath...

the bad news is...

:blink:
:blink:
:blink:
:blink:

[Seusomon]

...there's a scorpion in the mud, and she gets stung. The good news is...

:wub: :rolleyes: :wub: :rolleyes: :wub: :rolleyes: :wub: :rolleyes: :wub: :rolleyes:
:wacko: :unsure: :wacko: :unsure: :wacko: :unsure: :wacko: :unsure: :wacko: :unsure:

[VeronicasLovebug]

...she is immune to scorpion stings :P. The bad news is...

[venus28976]

the mud is actually quick sand and now she is literally "stuck in the mud" The good news is....

[BklvrInVA]

a Mel Gibson look alike pulls her out of the quicksand.

The bad news is?

[atomic_cocktail]

after she wipes the mud away from here eyes its more like a screech look alike. THe good news is...

[venus28976]

He smells like the back end of the toilet and is instantly attracted to her. The good news is...

[atomic_cocktail]

she brought a gallon of perfume.. The bad news is..

[BklvrInVA]

She can't open the bottle.

The good news is ~~~`

[atomic_cocktail]

the man slips and falls in the mud and that diminishs some of the stink. The bad news is..

[venus28976]

he pulls her in with him so now she's right back stuck in the mud. The good news is...

[gwensmom]

It begins to rain and the rain softens the mud so she can get out. It also washes the rest of the mud off of her so that we can get past mud send her somewhere else.

The bad news is...

[Sirius]

she doesn't know where to go, but thank goodness she is away from the mud...the bad news is...

[Sirius]

Monkeys! Monkeys! This thread needs Monkeys!











French Monkeys.
With Power Complexes.





Thank you.

[VeronicasLovebug]

...a group of french monkeys come and take the 2 into captivity. The good news is...

[venus28976]

The Mel Gibson look alike knows how to speak monkey and is able to communicate with them.... the bad news is

[hammerquill]

His accent is so bad (they're French monkeys after all) they refuse to let him out, and gag him besides. The good news is...

[Qwerty]

...the Mel Gibson look alike enjoys being gagged. The bad news is...

[hammerquill]

now he's tied up they won't let Melanie anywhere near him. The good news is


:blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: http://home.earthlink.net/~hammerquill/images/inkblay.gif

:huh:

thought I'd join in the competition for Cuilanië's attention. ;)

[Cuilanië]

My deepest thanks. (http://nervousness.org/forums/index.php?showtopic=5018&st=15&#entry75002)

[atomic_cocktail]

he smelled bad anyways so she is glad to be away from him... even though he looked like Mel Gibson. The bad news is...

[Cuilanië]

Originally posted by hammerquill@Sep 25 2003, 11:19 AM
:blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: http://home.earthlink.net/~hammerquill/images/inkblay.gif

:huh:

thought I'd join in the competition for Cuilanië's attention. ;)
You win. Of course, now I know how you made them blink at different times... ;)
Although Rustell's totem pole was cool... And Seusomon's assorted blinkers is so cute...
You all win. So there. Thanks again for playing "keep the baby happy"! *grin*
:wub::wub::wub::wub::wub::wub::wub::wub::wub:
So. Bad news about Melanie?

The bad news is she is treed by a rabid grizzly while running away from those evil French monkeys (and glad they've left France I am!!!). The good news is...

Edited to add : I just got this message...
THE FOLLOWING ERROR(S) WERE FOUND
You have posted a message with more emoticons that this board allows. Please reduce the number of emoticons you've added to the message
LOL!!!

[Seusomon]

the good news is Cuilanië is logged in and chain gaming -

:lol: :wub: :lol: :wub: :lol: :wub: :lol: :wub:

OOPS,

the good news is that the treetop affords a beautiful view of the surrounding countryside, there are fresh-smelling flowers up there, and the air is refreshing and cool. The bad news is...

[Cuilanië]

The bad news is I'm going home now and might get kicked off the computer early again... ;) sorry - couldn't resist!

:rolleyes::blink::rolleyes::blink::rolleyes::blink::rolleyes::blink:
:blink::rolleyes::blink::rolleyes::blink::rolleyes::blink::rolleyes:


The real bad news is there's a wasps nest up there... poor Melanie! The good news is...

[Seusomon]

...they are friendly wasps, secret minions of the wise and compassionate giant prehistoric guinea pigs. The bad news is....

:blink: :blink: :angry: :blink: :blink:
:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :( :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
:blink: :blink: :P :blink: :blink:
:unsure: :unsure: :o :unsure: :unsure:

[siafu]

their wings smell like a home permanent; the good news is they band togther and hover her down...the bad news is....

[Cuilanië]

...she still has the grizzly to deal with. The good news is...

:angry: :( :mellow: :) :D :lol:
:P :rolleyes: :wacko: :blink: :ph34r:
;) ^_^ <_< -_- :wub:

[Redandpinkdaisy]

the grizzly doesn't have rabies, he just got done brushing his teeth....and he is surprisingly friendly and helps her down. the bad news is........

[readinme]

That behind the really friendly grizzly is one million honeybees that are flying right at you!!!!



The good news is....

[readinme]

That behind that friendly grizzly is about a thousand very angry bees and there headed straight towards you.


The good thing is...

[atomic_cocktail]

A large group of aliens come down and rescue Melanie from bees and bears and mud and stinky men and transport her into the middle of New York City. The bad news is

[gwensmom]

They want to do weird experiments on her

The good news is>>

[venus28976]

The bright lights of the city distract the aliens. The bad news is

[BklvrInVA]

She can't find a taxi to get away from the aliens.

The good news is?

[VeronicasLovebug]

...a kind stranger stops and gives her a ride.



The bad news is...

[hammerquill]

he's a lot stranger than he is kind. The good news is...

[VeronicasLovebug]

...he offers to help her out in anyway possible.


The bad news is...

[Cuilanië]

...he's strange, right, so he interprets Melanie's request ("Just take me where there's a shower and clean clothes!") quite liberally. The good news is...

[VeronicasLovebug]

...he managed to get her somewhere where she could get a warn shower and fresh clean clothes. The bad news is...

[gwensmom]

He tells her she owes him $500 for his services and she left her purse back in the mud


the good news is...

[Cuilanië]

He's not keeping too close an eyes on her, and she manages to give him the slip. The bad news is...

[VeronicasLovebug]

...when she wasn't paying attention, he put a tracking device on her so he managed to find her. The good news is...

[gwensmom]

She uses her recently acquired martial arts skills to do him in and now she is rid of him for good.

the bad news is

[BklvrInVA]

She broke her foot doing him in.

The good new is~~

[Cuilanië]

...she's two blocks away from a hospital, and can have her foot immobilized. The bad news is...

[gwensmom]

She has to eat hospital food.


The good news is...

[girl-who-loves-sharks]

...there is a falafel vendor just outside the hospital's front door. The bad news is...

[Cuilanië]

...the hospital people won't let her cross the street to get to him before she is discharged. The good news is...

[Seusomon]

they conspire to raise the falafel up to her hospital room using ropes and and one of those hospital water pitchers. The bad news is...

[obsoletepostergrrrl]

...her roommate snatches the delicious falafel before she even gets a bit. The good news is…

[Cuilanië]

...there was a sleeping pill hidden in the falafel, so Melanie has just had a narrow escape! The bad news is...

[gwensmom]

They bring her creamed chipped beef on toast instead. the good news is..

[nymphette]

it came with a side dish of spicy potato wedges with a side of sour cream... the bad news is....

[obsoletepostergrrrl]

... when the nurses see her eager dive for the food they decide that she must be threatening them and put her in a straight jacket and refuse to feed her. the good news is...

[gwensmom]

It's an edible straight jacket that tastes like grilled salmon in tequila lime sauce. the bad news is..

[obsoletepostergrrrl]

...she is allergic to fish and gets violently sick. the good news is...

[Cuilanië]

...she frees herself of the jacket in her convulsions. The bad news is...

[gwensmom]

She's covered in vomit. the good news is

[Cuilanië]

...well, the hospital people come in and clean her up. They don't put her back into the straight jacket, but the bad news is...

[Seusomon]

they take her to get electric shock treatment. The good news is...

[nymphette]

the power goes out as they are about to flip the switch... the bad news is...

[girl-who-loves-sharks]

...the nurse who's afraid of the dark begins to scream. The good news is...

[venus28976]

She is able to break away and run from the hospital. the bad news is....

[OHPossum]

she breaks out via a plate glass window, the good news is...

[mokistar]

she was wearing a diamond jacket that broke the glass perfectly, the bad news is

[OHPossum]

Her face was sliced to shreds, the good news is...

[Cuilanië]

...she was wearing a face-like latex mask and that's what got shredded. The bad news is...

[OHPossum]

Now her identity will be revealed to the Mob, the good news is

[mokistar]

she's got a great plastic surgeon for when she goes into hiding. the bad news is

[gwensmom]

She forgets to go into hiding because she is hooked on chain games and plays all day so she can post on every one of them.

The good news is...

[venus28976]

She is the top poster for all of nness. the bad news is....

[mokistar]

so is the mob boss, the good news is

[VeronicasLovebug]

...the mob boss doesn't know that she's the other top poster.

The bad news is...

[Cuilanië]

...he looks at her profile and realizes she's in the same city. The good news is...

[Sirius]

she put in a false city, the bad news is...

[VeronicasLovebug]

...he uses a tracking device on his computer to find out where she's really located. The good news is...

[gwensmom]

She stopped playing chain games to read the rants and she got so mad she logged off so that his device could not track her. the bad news is...

[VeronicasLovebug]

...the mob boss got off the computer at the same time and decided to take a walk, he caught sight of her in the park.
The good news is...

[Sirius]

the mob boss is actually her grandfather, the bad news is...

[VeronicasLovebug]

...she didn't recognize him, so she runs thinking he's after her. The good news is...

[Sirius]

....sorry can't post, distracted by the uncanny way the figure in red is keeping the beat....

[Sirius]

the good news is she notices a new book store as she is running. one she will have to stop at later... the bad news is...

[gwensmom]

the books and cd's are out of alphabetical order. The good news is..

[Cuilanië]

...Rustell is already in the shop straightening them up. The bad news is...

[VeronicasLovebug]

...Rustell twists her ankle and falls to the floor while reaching to put a book back in place. The good news is...

[Sirius]

Hey!

[Sirius]

not knowing that Rustell is very anti-lawsuit, the store gives her gobs and gobs of money to ward off the potential suit...the bad news is (Be nice please)

[gwensmom]

The mob boss is also obsessive/compulsive about books and cd's so he stops to help Rustell get up and finish arranging things.

The bad news is..

[Cuilanië]

The bad news is, the store was paid with fake money recently - they did not know this - and that's the money they give Rustell. The good news is...

Sorry Rustell, it had to be bad, I hope it's not ugly!

[VeronicasLovebug]

Originally posted by Rustell@Oct 3 2003, 03:00 PM
Hey!
sorry Rustell...it could have happened to anyone :P


...only a small portion of the money was fake, so Rustell still ended up w/ quite a large sum of real cash(better? lol). The bad news is....

[gwensmom]

We are back to the original sentence of this thread

Melanie found a twenty dollar bill on the sidewalk in front of her house. The bad news is that it turned out to be counterfeit....

Except with Rustell instead of Melanie with the counterfeit money.


The good news is...

[VeronicasLovebug]

...when Rustell went to the grocery store to buy something, they took it and didn't even notice it was counterfeit. The bad news is...

[Cuilanië]

...Rustell is now in for quite an adventure! The good news is...

[Sirius]

the cashier reads the boards and takes pity on Rustell replacing all the counterfit bills with crisp clean non-counterfiet, healthy bills....

more good news!
More good news!

okay, the bad news is...

[gwensmom]

The bills are not bank faced! the good news is..

[Sirius]

Rustell is very good at rapidly bank facing money, the bad news is...

[venus28976]

The feds get wind that some girl named Rustell is running around tow using conterfeit money and they are not too happy about it.... The good news is...

[nymphette]

she was featured on america's most wanted last night as one of the top ten... her face is plastered all over the place on 'wanted' signs, offering a reward of $4,000,023.99 to whoever brings her in... dead or alive... the good news is...

[mokistar]

It was a really bad picture that made her look like a 50 year old man, the bad news is

[gwensmom]

They also showed the kicky kangaroo photos. the good news is

[venus28976]

Everyone is trying to find Rustell so Melanie is off the hook for now. The bad news is....

[gwensmom]

someone turns her in to get the 4 million + reward. (But it's not all bad news because they turn her in alive rather than dead)

the good news is....

[Cuilanië]

...Rustell gets VIP treatment in jail, her own clean cell and good food. The Bad News is...

[Sirius]

the person in the cell next to her talks in their sleep, keeping her awake, the good news is...

[venus28976]

This gives her time to plot her escape...carefully going over every detail in her mind. The bad news is....

[Cuilanië]

...she's in a maximum security area, so the planning is very long and complicated. The Good News is...

[gwensmom]

They acquit her because she really did have real bills. And it was her husband who turned her in so now they have $4 million and get to keep it.

[Cuilanië]

The bad news is her husband, Brian, you know, gets stuck in traffic while coming to pick her up. The good news is...


[Rustell, you're incredibly lucky I'm a nice person... A lot of evil things crossed my mind! ;) ]

[Sirius]

thanks....I leave someone else to good news.....

[VeronicasLovebug]

...he's only about 10 minutes late, so when he gets there...rustell jumps in the car, and they take off.

The bad news is...

[Seusomon]

unbeknownst* to them, they are being tracked by evil French monkeys bent on world domination.. The good news is...




* love that word

[BreezyK]

...rather than intending to hurt the happpy couple, the monkeys want to include them in their diabolical plans (fifty/fifty baybee...).

The bad news is...

[Seusomon]

...they don't speak English, so Rustell and Brian get entirely the wrong impression about their intentions, and pull out the missile launchers they always keep in the back seat in case they find themselves being chased by evil French monkeys bent on world domination. The good news is...

[BreezyK]

...they can't find the missiles that go in the missile launchers. Strange, because they claimed they were there. Maybe they never were really there in the first place. But maybe if they say they exsist, the monkeys will believe them anyway.

The bad news is...

[Sirius]

the bad news is....Brian thinks we are all crazy for dragging innocent him into this crazy world of ours.... "How do these people know my name?" he wonders.....the good news is....

[gwensmom]

We will not come and stalk him even though we know his name and some of us know his address.

The bad news is

[Cuilanië]

... the monkeys get tired of waiting for their answer and decide to abduct them instead. The Good News is...

[Seusomon]

Their get-away vehicle is hijacked by aloof but philosophically astute mutant opossums who seek only to maintain the global balance of power. The bad news is...

[bluecrayon]

the hijackers keep quoting Arnold Swarzenegger movie lines along with Sartre and seem brain dead...

the Good news...

[Cuilanië]

...fun-loving hypothetical hippopotamuses step into the middle of the road. The various animals go investigate, leaving Rustell and Brian free to escape. The Bad news is...

[bluecrayon]

...Brian kind of takes a liking to one of those hypothetical fun loving hippopotami wearing a red hat and pink slippers...

the good news:

[gwensmom]

He decides he likes Rustell better so her goes with her and they escape.
The bad news is...

[Sirius]

...oh, i love it when i get to bad news myself...

they stumble upon a sobbing Mealnie who is upset that she has all but been forgotten about in this chain game...

[Seusomon]

The good news is that she is willing to return long enough to give Rustell and Brian a chance to have dinner at this swank little bistro downtown. The bad news is...

[Sirius]

the bistro only serves fancy foods and Rustell ponders the menu searching for something, anything she will eat....the good news is...

[Seusomon]

a friendly waiter smuggles in a tray of m&ms, all sorted by color and facing the same way. The bad news is...

[bluecrayon]

that pink slippered red hatted hippo, who Rustell thought was out of the story, has beaten her to those m&ms and has made quite a scene in the bistro

the good news:

[Sirius]

that the hippo skips off and goes far, far away from the story and the waiter explains that they cater to "special diets" (i.e. picky eaters) so, Rustell can make her own order...the bad news is...




(I'm feeling very Bob Dole refering to myself in the third person)

[nymphette]

they are out of everything but mashed potatoes.. and rustell is hungry!!! the good news is...

[gwensmom]

They have everything else she likes prepared in exactly the right way. So they have a nice meal, but

the bad news is...

[Cuilanië]

...an earthquake hits before they get a chance to eat anything. The Good news is...

[Sirius]

it is a very minor earthquake and it helped the chocolate malt get mixed to the perfect consistencey...the bad news is...

[gwensmom]

When the earth was shaking, the perfectly mixed chocolate malt spilled on Rustell's shirt..
the good news is

[Cuilanië]

...she, always super-organized, has a spare shirt in her bag. The bad news is...

[gwensmom]

they are in California and Ahnold is governor. the good news is...

[Sirius]

it is a beautiful sunny day and they decide to go to the beach, the bad news is...

[auntieemu]

An oil tanker has sprung a leak, thousands of seagulls, fish and seals are trapped. The good news is....

[Sirius]

a gaggle of marine biologists are at the coast on a convention and they begin work immediately to save the thousands of seagulls, fish and seals (with Brian and Rustell's help of course)...the bad news is...

[venus28976]

the leak is rapidly spreading. The good news is....

[Sirius]

it wasn't really oil, the bad news is...

[Cuilanië]

... it was some kind of super-toxic chemical. The good news is...

[gwensmom]

It is really just molassas. Gingerbread for everyone! the bad news is

[Cuilanië]

... it's all salty from the seawater. The good news is...

[gwensmom]

Rustell and Brian don't care for gingerbread anyway. They decide to go visit other nervous members. the bad news is..

[Sirius]

gwensmom doesn't answer when they (we?) knock on her door, the good news is...

[gwensmom]

They decide to go to Graceland as long as they are in Memphis and when they knock, Elvis IS home! (Ya'll know he really isn't dead, right?)

the bad news is...

[Sirius]

he is kind of creepy now and wants them to watch slides and videos of him pretending to be an elvis impersonator...the good news is...

[gwensmom]

The projectors are broken, so ya'll pile into the pink cadillac and go downtown to party. the bad news is..

[VeronicasLovebug]

...when they leave the party, Elvis starts sneaking around behind them, stalking them, and hiding in bushes whenever they turn around to see who's there.

The good news is...

[gwensmom]

They finally lose him and go to find some more nervousers. The bad news is..

[BleedingGirl]

All the nervousers are in the bottom of a dark pit, guarded by fuzzy orange socks armed with green jello.

The good news is...

[Sirius]

it's really a pre-halloween party and the sock people are just other costumed nervousers...the bad news is...

[venus28976]

The green jello is real and quite messy....the good news is

[gwensmom]

The nervousers find a way to make art with the green jello. The bad news is..

[Sirius]

arguements break out over whose jello art is best, the good news is...

[Seusomon]

...everyone decides to be nonjudgmental about the jello and chill out by inventing a new chain game. The bad news is....

[gwensmom]

The addition of yet another chain game causes nervousness to crash. Now all of us addicts are without a fix! The good news is....

[Sirius]

we all discover these objects with buttons and if we push the right combinations we can (gasp here) TALK to eachother, the bad news is....

[Cuilanië]

... nobody knows the right combinations for everyone else, and we all end up talking to assorted evil Swahili-speaking monkeys. The good news is...

[gwensmom]

Cuilanie is back! OOOOOH and with a sassy new avatar!

And it is also good news that since we don't understand Swahili we can't hear the monkeys spreading their evilness. The bad news is...

[Cuilanië]

... the monkeys are aware of this and are sending subliminal messages in all their communications. The good news is...


Hi gwensmom! About the avatar... I've decided that, instead of a picture of me when I was 5 years old, I'd use a picture of me which is five years old! I had some fun with it when I scanned it, too. *grin*

[gwensmom]

We get some aluminum foil and make wonderfully creative hats to block the signals to our brains. The bad news is...

[Cuilanië]

... we all forget to protect the children. Now they are all turned to evil and have formed the secret Children of Nervous People's League to take over the world and run it their way. The good news is...

[medeous]

their way is actually better than the current way...crime is down, unemployment is down, the economy is thriving....the bad news is....

[gwensmom]

They force us to watch Barney all day. The good news is...

[Seusomon]

Baby Bop finally comes to her senses and realizes that Barney is a carnivorous T. rex. She traps him in a pit and roasts him alive. The bad news is...

[Cuilanië]

...Something Has Survived. The good news is...

*giggling at own joke...*

[Sirius]

Barney is dead.

The bad news is...

[Seusomon]

no one thought to destroy all the videotapes and merchandise. The bad news is...

[Sirius]

the good news is that the people who have the tapes and videos are afraid to admit it, so we don't have to see them, the bad news is...

[gwensmom]

The Barney tape and video people have an underground network. They spend all their time watching videos and posting about them, thus creating a decline in productivity that depresses the economy....

the good news is..

[euphoria]

it is realized that they weren't all that productive anyway so it isn't a significant difference.

[Cuilanië]

The bad news is that, by an amazing coincidence, the underground network is hosted on the same servers as Nervousness. By some electronic accident (no evil monkey-design here, no-no-no!), we all log on to find our beloved chain games suddenly replaced by icky Barney-worship. The good news is...

[gwensmom]

We recreate the good genie thread and wish that we could have our chain games back. We get them and they are better than ever with no whining about rules. The bad news is...

[Sirius]

occasionally we chant "I love you. You Love me. We're a happy family."* The good news is...


*I have no children, yet the overwhelming Barney powers have managed it so that even I know that much of the song.

[Cuilanië]

... that I didn't know even that much of the song. The bad news is that thanks to Rustell, now I do.

Thank you, Rustell! lol



The good news is that we only chant at 3 am on Feb. 29th, the years when that date is a Saturday. The bad news is...

[VeronicasLovebug]

...that one day of chanting isn't enough to please the underground network, and so they make it mandatory that we chant 2 days a week at least.

The good news is...

[Sirius]

The Monkeys are very anti-Barney so they start a revolt on our behalf....the bad news is...

[gwensmom]

Now those monkeys think we owe them something. the good news is

[Sirius]

i am starting to feel safe that something bad isn't going to happen to Brian or I the next time I read good news, bad news, and Melanie feels safe as well, the abd news is...

[Cuilanië]

... I managed to get them all involved in French politics. Since that's an unholy mess, it ought to keep them occupied for years to come! The bad news is...

[Seusomon]

The Giant Prehistoric Guinea Pigs (GPGPs) are seriously contemplating whether or not the dictates of wisdom and compassion require destroying the whole planet and starting over. The good news is...

[medeous]

they get too caught up in following all the chain games to ever reach any decision. the bad new is...

[Sirius]

that Melanie tears onto the scene furious that she is being ignored, the good news is...

[gwensmom]

There is no more mud, counterfeit money or mob bosses to plague her. The bad news is

[medeous]

melanie misses the excitement. she's bored and feeling sorry for herself. the good news is...

[Cuilanië]

... she runs into a chocolate-eyed, goofy skater-boy and falls in love. The bad news is...

Hi bluecrayon! ;)

[gwensmom]

He was Bluecrayon's chocolate-eyed goofy skater-boy! The good news is...

[auntieemu]

she might have a chance with him because bluecrayon is terribley bored with him anyway. The bad news is....

[ibiddy_boo]

....he's a cronic nose picker.

The good news is.....

[bluecrayon]

bluecrayon wasn't around for all this earlier :D


the bad news??

[ibiddy_boo]

The bad news is....both his hands are temporarily in casts.

The good news is.....

[Sirius]

nervousers volunteer to decorate his casts...the bad news is

[auntieemu]

One of them was me....LOL Ok, sorry - that just slipped out.

The bad news is that someone used tulip paints which melt when they get hot. The good news is

[ibiddy_boo]

....the colours ran together to make a pretty psycadelic pattern.

The bad news is....

[auntieemu]

turns out he is allergic to the paint..... the good news is.....

[gwensmom]

There is plenty of Benadryl available. the bad news is...

[auntieemu]

it makes him really hyperactive! The good news is.....

[gwensmom]

Melanie likes her boys a little hyper. The bad news is...

[Cuilanië]

...she is forbidden to visit him in the hospital by a jealous nurse. The good news is...

[gwensmom]

Gwensmom and Cuilanie are already in the hospital because the evil genie put them there. So they can let melanie know how he is and relay messages between the them and thwart the jealous nurse, who is obviously in cahoots with the French monkeys. The bad news is.....

[Cuilanië]

...the jealous nurse ends up hearing about Gwensmom's and Cuilanië's efforts, and decides to make their life even worse. The good news is...

[gwensmom]

Googlebot, Hotbot and Goofybot infiltrate the hospital's computer and remove the nurse from the payroll. The bad news is...

[Cuilanië]

... they make the computers overload. The good news is...

[ibiddy_boo]

....one of the French monkey's has typed enough Shakespeare in his time, to learn his way around a computer, and....fixes them! :blink:

The bad news is.......

[gwensmom]

He doesn't get it quite right and the computer prints out orders for a colonoscopy for everyone. the good news is....

[ibiddy_boo]

.....the orders are written in ancient Greek and no one can understand them!

The bad news is....

[gwensmom]

Hammerquill is there and I'll bet he knows how to read it!.. the good news is..

[Cuilanië]

... Hammerquill, being the nice guy he is, pretends he can't read them anyway. The Bad News is...

[Seusomon]

because no one translates the colonscopy orders, the surgeons all interpret them as lobotomy orders. The good news is...

[Cuilanië]

...they are diverted from this ghastly mistake by compassionate giant prehistoric guinea pigs, who feel it would be a crying shame to let such a thing go down. The bad news is...

[auntieemu]

That in straightening out the mess the nasty nurse is put back on the payroll and she has started giving the chocolate-eyed, goofy skater-boy haldol to control his benadril induced hyperactivity (and also to make him more susceptable to her dubious charms..... the good news is......

[gwensmom]

He is immune to the drugs and sees that her charmes are dubious. The bad news is

[auntieemu]

Seusomon has caught her eye instead! The good news is......

[Sirius]

ibiddy_boo pokes her in the eyes Three Stooges style, so she can't eye anyone at all...the bad news is...

[gwensmom]

She switches to an alternate reality in which she can still see, and she continues to eye Seusomon in all of his realities. The good news is...

[auntieemu]

Seusomon is totally oblivious to her existance so it doesn't bother him at all. Meanwhile, Rustell has arrived at the hospital to get this thread back on track. She has this huge sack with her. The bad news is.......

[Seusomon]

The sack is empty! She forgot to pack it. DOH!

The good news is...