Evil Genie game [Archive] - Nervousness.org

avataurus6

08-30-2003, 05:25 PM

okay....just a sec.....just have to sign these commitment papers......all rightey then....done....it's so loveley here,you'll love it! big big place on 20 acres of beautiful land with gardens that you can tend as part of your rehab, lot's of activities, group sessions and everyone is soooooooooo nice, especially the ones who take their meds, and if you get tired of all the activities, you can be really naughty and get sent to a really nice meditation room....er...uhhh.... padded cell.

:ph34r: (we need a devil icon)

I wish I could sail around the world in my own ship.

Sirius

08-30-2003, 08:25 PM

Wow...I betcha that journey is going to feel really long in that 8ft by 4ft ship...don't worry, at least it isn't oar powered!

I wish that I didn't require sleep.

Meika

08-30-2003, 08:39 PM

You dont require any sleep at all but you do require lots of Gold Bond Medicated Lotion because the lack of sleep makes you itch like mad all day every day. You'd better wear gloves so you dont tear your skin up too badly.

I wish I could fly.

glitterfly

08-30-2003, 10:34 PM

Wish granted but your arms have been permanently turned into wings! (Personally, I think that would suck...no more art!)

I wish...

that people wouldn't be superficial! (ha, maybe i should go for an easier one)

Meika

08-30-2003, 11:02 PM

Wish granted but.........Everyone you know will get plastic surgery so they all look like Ken and Barbie and they will all move to Malibu to live in beach houses and drive red Corvettes. :)

I wish I could go to sleep.

Sirius

08-30-2003, 11:25 PM

oh, okay...go to sleep...but when you wake up in 20 years from your Rip-Van-Winkle nap...good luck catching up on all you have missed.

I wish I could stop this itching. (See 3 posts back)

qchan

08-30-2003, 11:39 PM

Wish granted.......... the trouble is the new anti-itch medication, give your the hiccups.

I wish I had the biggest cherry pie in the world!

auntieemu

08-31-2003, 01:40 AM

Granted, but in addition to causing a world wide cherry shortage, the pie so large that there is no way for you to eat it before it ruins what with the weather, flies, decomposing. Amid the stench of rotting cherries TV reporters arrive to ask you why you didn't share with the homeless starving people instead of letting the food ruin.

I wish I knew what Dio Songs are (see about 8 posts back).

avataurus6

08-31-2003, 09:43 AM

Wish granted! so driven to know, you are compelled to forsake all to follow the band all around the country, you're miserable because you'd rather hear Faith Hill, but you're subjected to Dio constantly, and Iron Maiden, Motorhead, Megadeth, and Slayer. Dio notices you, because you seem to be his biggest groupie, you marry him, live miserably ever after with him and your 2.5 ugly children on At Home With Dio, the floundering reality show that propels you to make asses of yourselves in all sorts of public venues.

(Dio, became the lead singer for Black Sabbath after Ozzie left)

I wish I could go on a cross country road trip and meet up with all the nervous folk i can find along the way. (i really do)

asullenriot

08-31-2003, 10:24 AM

wish granted, but you also have to stop at every "world's largest/biggest/tallest/smallest something or other" along the way, and take 2 rolls of film at each.

I wish for the worlds largest music library.

Sirius

08-31-2003, 10:41 AM

oh, asullenriot...for me you made her wish even better! I keep trying to convince Brian to take a road trip and stop at all those corny roadside attractions...and I went on a 4 day trip and took about 400 pictures (you don't want to know how many pictures I took in Hawaii) -- Thank goodness for digital.

You have the world's largest music library, but it causes mass rioting because no one else can find the tunes they are looking for...as a result, mean vengeful people keep destroying all of your listening devices...so you have the collection of cds...but no cd player....

I wish....that I had a shorter commute....

Redandpinkdaisy

08-31-2003, 11:58 AM

Granted ! You have a shorter commute, but you have to travel by doing the "crab walk", bent over backwards with your hands on the ground.

I wish my boyfriend's dad would just shut up.

Cuilanië

08-31-2003, 02:30 PM

Wish granted, but now he just *glares* at you all day long whenever you see him.

I wish I could compose music...

littlest-bee

08-31-2003, 02:38 PM

Poof! Wish granted! But you are now deaf so you will never hear your music played!

I wish I had a chauffer to drive me everywhere (I *hate* driving)

FearfulPenguin

08-31-2003, 02:45 PM

Granted! But the weight gain from never walking anywhere anymore is making you ill...

i wish I was a more talented artist.

Cuilanië

08-31-2003, 02:48 PM

Voilà! Wish granted! but no one understands you anymore...

I wish my days were twice as long!!!

FearfulPenguin

08-31-2003, 02:55 PM

Originally posted by Cuilanië@Aug 31 2003, 04:48 PM
Voilà! Wish granted! but no one understands you anymore...

Heh! Noone understands me anyway!!

I wish my days were twice as long!!!

Wish granted... but you have 3 times as much stuff to do...

I wish I was happy.

littlest-bee

08-31-2003, 02:58 PM

wish granted! You're happy but at everyone else's expense - the rest of the world is walking around crying and wailing and shouting and being miserable and all you can do is grin like a fool!

I wish I could be an astronaut

FearfulPenguin

08-31-2003, 03:00 PM

Granted! Shame the spaceshuttle broke down whilst you were on mars....

I wish everyone was happy!

Cuilanië

08-31-2003, 03:06 PM

Hah! Wish granted - everybody is so hysterically happy you can't stand it anymore!!!! mwahahahahaha!!!!

I wish I could time-travel

Redandpinkdaisy

08-31-2003, 09:38 PM

You can time travel, but only back and forth between the worst times of your life and re-live them over and over again.

(that was a mean one! oops)

I wish it would STOP RAINING.

qchan

08-31-2003, 10:53 PM

Wish granted, mind you when the pond becomes a dester wastland, you start to wrorry.

I wish it would rain.... lots.

Redandpinkdaisy

09-01-2003, 02:47 AM

Granted ! But there is so much rain, it floods and washes away everyone and everything in your town.

I wish I could find a job.

Cuilanië

09-01-2003, 03:27 AM

Granted, but you have to work 70-hour weeks... You now have to choose between nervousness and sleep!

(OK, that was the easy way out... *evil grin*)

I wish I could go visit my best friend in Montreal every week-end - she's having a rough time right now.
(Now sour me ~that~ wish, you punks! :lol: )

AlienSpy

09-01-2003, 08:47 AM

Wish granted! And your friend is feeling better... But now you're the one who's having a rough time - on week days!

(Hey, I could visit her for you, I go to Montreal a few times a week for university!)

I wish I didn't need to work but still had a lot of money!

Julie

kperrty

09-01-2003, 10:19 AM

Originally posted by AlienSpy@Sep 1 2003, 05:47 PM
I wish I didn't need to work but still had a lot of money!
Wish granted....but all your money is monopoly money

I wish that my boss actually liked me. :rolleyes: :P

Cuilanië

09-01-2003, 12:04 PM

Wish granted: your boss actually likes you... too much now... He's stalking you!

I wish I wasn't allergic to cats so I could have one...

[Aside to AlienSpy: my friend lives in Vaudreuil-Dorion, actually, it's a bit out of your way, but thanks for the offer! :) ]

AlienSpy

09-01-2003, 12:18 PM

(Cuilanië : I used to go to Vaudreuil-Dorion quite often when I lived in Ile Perrot!)

Wish granted! You aren't allergic to cats anymore... But now all cats are allergic to you!

(By the way, I'm allergic to cats but I have 2 of them :o)

I wish I could have as many wishes as I want, whenever I want (and that all of them would be granted, of course), and that all my dreams would become reality! :D

Julie

Cuilanië

09-01-2003, 12:29 PM

Aargh! No more cats begging for my attention! :(

Julie, your wish is granted... But now you no longer wish for anything - no more dreams... nothing!
(Eeeeeeeeeeeeevil!)

I wish I wasn't so addicted to this game!!!! :D

(I used to go to Vaudreuil-Dorion quite often when I lived in Ile Perrot!)
(Really? Seems like a really out-of-the-way place to me - city girl talking here! I don't know anybody else who lives there.)

Sirius

09-01-2003, 12:35 PM

Well, your addiction is cured through a handy 12-step program and group support...but now you've found that you are addicted to 12-step programs. You join AA even though you don't drink, and all the other addict clubs...so, you still don't have any free time.

I wish I could go back to January of this year and change a couple of poor decisions I made...

ninerfan_11

09-01-2003, 12:45 PM

Wish Granted. However, they have been changed for the worse.

I wish I could own a different color Ford Mustang for each day of the week.

Sirius

09-01-2003, 01:05 PM

Egads...I don't know how they good change for the worse...

So now you have a fuschia, puce, olive, pepto-bismol pink, eggplant, neon carrot orange, and primer 1970 mustang for each day of the week. If only one of them had an engine within....

I wish that I didn't have to shave my legs...and by that I mean, I wish I had perfectly smooth, hairless legs that required no upkeep...

qchan

09-01-2003, 01:26 PM

Granted, but your legs are too smooth now, you slide off of things when you site down, and your pants dont' stay on right. ^^

I wish I didn't have to go to schoo or work to live ^^

kittymao

09-02-2003, 01:48 AM

alright. You don't have to go to school or work to live.

BECAUSE YOU NO LONGER LIVE.
bwa ha ha ha.

i wish i had a tail.

kperrty

09-02-2003, 05:45 AM

granted....but your tail is very thick and heavy and long and it prevents you from walking or going anywhere....

I wish for world peace

avataurus6

09-02-2003, 08:30 AM

Ewww. i hate to mess that one up.................wish granted. but no one is challenged to grow anymore, no more poingnant art and movies no more music that moves you, everyone is always smiling and singing elevator music and show tunes. life becomes as mundane as an episode of the Brady Bunch.

I wish I could lose that last 10 pounds and slow down aging.

kittymao

09-02-2003, 10:39 AM

okay. you're now a newborn baby. 7 lbs, 3 oz. Still wanna lose that last 10 lbs? :blink:

I wish I could drive.

Cuilanië

09-02-2003, 11:24 AM

Wish granted... *eeevil grin*
You can only drive promotional blimps!
mwahahahaha!!!

I wish I could transport all my friends here with a snap of my fingers

Sirius

09-02-2003, 12:38 PM

Wish granted...oh, you thought you liked your friends, didn't you...

Your friends bring friends with them when you snap and you now have 27 people sharing your cozy abode. Yes, they all plan to stay with you. Remember that saying about Houseguests and Fish going bad after 3 days...well, since you transported them there, they are your responsibility. They have no way to get home or to work or...you get the point...so you are now the single provider for 27 long term houseguests. And I don't care how bad they say it is, I want to make the Disneyland in Paris one of the stops on our journey. Well, you are going to take us siteseeing since we are all staying with you, right?

I wish I had a photographic memory.

Cuilanië

09-02-2003, 12:52 PM

oh yeah, my 28 m² (less than 280 sq ft) two-room appartment I'm already sharing with a roommate... yikes!!!! I *would* take you all to Disneyland Paris, too... lol

Photographic memory, eh? You can't stop remembering things. They superimpose over everything you see. Picture upon picture upon picture. Makes for interesting art, though. *grin* Shame they'll have to replace your brain with a new one soon...

I wish I could play the drums in a rock band

Redandpinkdaisy

09-02-2003, 01:07 PM

Granted! But your band is the most hated band ever, and you can never go anywhere for fear of getting attacked.

I wish that I could speak a bunch of different languages.

ibiddy_boo

09-02-2003, 02:37 PM

Granted! But everytime you open your mouth to speak, all the languages intermix and everything you say comes out garbled, making it impossible for anyone to understand you. Eventually you end up walking the streets, mumbling and garbling while people toss quarters at you and shake their heads sadly.

**i wish for long, thick, glorious hair! (on my head!)**

auntieemu

09-02-2003, 02:54 PM

Granted, but it's sort of a baby poop color and is so thick that you cannot get a comb through it so it is constantly matted and because you cannot get through the snarls, your scalp is never really clean, leading to dandruff, scabs and other icky stuff.

I wish I could visit (and return safely) from another planet.

Seusomon

09-02-2003, 03:12 PM

You get your wish, but return 20,000 years from now and find the Earth ruled by apes.

I wish I could carry a tune.

kittymao

09-02-2003, 03:12 PM

oops. same post.
moving on.

You can carry a tune. it is Parrot named Beethoven who only sings "My heart will go on" by Celine Dion; in falsetto. ( so EVIL! )

I wish I had a kitten.

Redandpinkdaisy

09-02-2003, 03:17 PM

I think Seusomon and kittymao posted at the same time. Sooo...

Tom, you can carry a tune, but now can converse only in song. :)

Kitty, you have a kitten, but it is the size of an elephant, and always curls up in your lap, crushing you.

I wish for a new house.

Seusomon

09-02-2003, 03:33 PM

Originally posted by Redandpinkdaisy@Sep 2 2003, 03:17 PM
Tom, you can carry a tune, but now can converse only in song. :)

Yay! I get to be Tom Bombadil!

Daisy, you get a new house, but it is located in Antartica.

avataurus6

09-02-2003, 03:35 PM

and we all thought kitty-mao was sooooooosweet! RRRRRREeaWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!! phft.......phft.........****waving my paw, in an evilly menacing way********
you go girl!!!!!!!!!!

( how was that motorhead-maiden concert BTW? wish i could have joined you)

Okay, you have your house, the person who had it before you was in a pinch and painted the outside with inside latex, youre gonna have to fix this to live or resell, because of termites, not to mention you only have 4 rooms and a bathroom, no closets to put your stuff in, the roof leaks, smells of mold because previous owner didn't care but covered it up well so you bought it and all repairs and moving of furniture to attempt to make the place look better due to your non-existent budget, is done by you and only you because your spouse thinks he's a loser and refuses to challenge himself by trying to do ANYTHING different, or helpful or redeeming!!!!
hey... this is my house...........wanna EXCHANGE?

I wish my real life was as interesting as my cyber-nervousness-life!!!!!!!

venus28976

09-02-2003, 05:18 PM

wish granted...your real life is as interesting as your cyber nness life...of course that is because your real life now exists only in cyber space

I wish my head would stop hurting (but I still want it attatched to my body and I want to be alive)

kittymao

09-02-2003, 06:51 PM

okay. Your head doesn't hurt.
But only because the ALLIGATOR gnawing on your FOOT hurts ohsomuch more.

( the show was good! Dio's a Troll, Lemmy wore white gogo boots and Bruce reminds me of peter pan! Iron Maiden has the BEST show. Almost better than Gwar. No. BETTER. WAY better.)

I wish I owned a craft store so I coud bet all the crafts I wanted without paying for them.

venus28976

09-02-2003, 07:28 PM

You own a great big craft store the only problem is that everytime you touch one of the products you sell it disentegrates in your hand.

I wish I could get the darn aligator to stop gnawing on my foot.... get it off!!! :lol:

mejaka

09-02-2003, 08:00 PM

The alligator is gone because the velociraptor just ate it. Along with your foot, calf, knee, thigh, hips, torso, and half your head. Which, by the way, hurts again...but not for long.

I wish I could organize my life so that I could accomplish everything I'd like to.

Curlita

09-02-2003, 10:53 PM

Poof! Now your life is super-organized and you never have time to do anything fun because you are always being CONSTRUCTIVE!!

I wish my assistant at work would go away and stay away.

Meika

09-02-2003, 11:21 PM

Wish granted. She does away and stays away but in her place you get two assistants and they are both exactly like Mimi on the Drew Carey show. Mimi hopped up on steroids for that matter. :)

I wish the grass in my backyard would grow nice and green and lush.

mejaka

09-02-2003, 11:33 PM

Well, the obvious is--POOF! It's so lush that it requires mowing twice a day, which is costing you a fortune, so that you lose your home and have to move to a cheapo apartment with poor lawn maintenance and dried-up old grass.

Or, to be more imaginative--Poof! It grows lush and thick, and until the police come and arrest you it never occurs to you that it's *that* kind of grass. Your lawyer is lazy, you lose your case, and you have to go to prison where you see scarcely a blade of grass (either kind) for several years.

I wish I had a day every week totally separate from the seven days--a day when the rest of the world stopped, and I had 24 hours to work on whatever art or writing or activity had my attention at the moment. I really do.

nymphette

09-03-2003, 12:31 AM

granted: except that everything you draw looks like a treasure troll and the only thing you can write, over and over, are the lyrics to 'your cheating heart'... and you believe that to be a one of a kind masterpiece!!! ;)

i wish: that i could have beautiful, blood- red, long- stemmed roses growing in my back yard... with no thorns...!!!!

robyn

Redandpinkdaisy

09-03-2003, 12:59 AM

Granted! They are all over, a beautiful sea of thornless red roses.....and all over them - millions and millions of bugs. Beetles, ants, earwigs, flies, and roaches. You can't even go outside anymore. :lol:

I wish for a new pool vacuum, the ones that clean the pool by themselves. Ugh, pool vacuuming SUCKS. (get it? hehe)

kittymao

09-03-2003, 02:30 AM

Okay. A Pool Vacuum it is!
The kind that cleans it all by itself.
Because inside that vacuum is a tiny hamster that sucks up all that gook. your hamster-run pool vacuum goes through two hamsters an hour. You now either Never clean the pool, or Stock up on so many hamsters, people think you have a problem.

I wish for some kool aid.

Cuilanië

09-03-2003, 06:51 AM

Wish granted! You are now the new kool-aid taste tester. And the designers NEVER seem to get those new flavors right the first time... or second... or even third...
mwahaha! :lol:

I wish there was a good place to go dancing in Paris (with decent alternative/indie rock, a bit of metal, a bit of rap, good techno, and a DJ with a sense of humour) - guess I wish for the Café Campus' (in Montreal) Thursday nights from a few years ago!

Lilac

09-03-2003, 07:53 AM

Wish granted, but you can only go there dressed as some one from the eighties...big hair, Michael Jackson red-leather outfit with one glove...and you must always dance with the same person, Michael Bolton.

I wish I had a maid.

kperrty

09-03-2003, 09:02 AM

Wish granted, but she doesnt do windows, toilets, laundry, make beds, or use a vacuum or dust rag :P

I wish I was more organized

Cuilanië

09-03-2003, 09:31 AM

Wish granted. You have all these big fluorescent-colored organizers to keep track of everything. Now if you could only remember where you put them... :lol:

I wish my cold would go away.

Redandpinkdaisy

09-03-2003, 09:34 AM

Granted! Your cold is gone, but now you have a stomach virus. Yuck !!

I wish for a pony.

kittymao

09-03-2003, 11:17 AM

hee.
I give you Terry, A brown-grey pony with a straw colored mane.
Mind you he has parrot mouth (farmtalk for a gross overbite) and kicks whenever you get close with a bridle, saddle, brush or even look at him funny. He also bites.

I want some Cherry Garcia ice cream.

nymphette

09-03-2003, 11:26 AM

granted your wish for ice cream... though i don't' know why anyone would want to eat a frosty snack made out of dead people!!! <genie turns hearing aid up> oh... CHERRY!!! well, too late, i already granted your wish!!! ;) be GRATEFUL!!! (okay, i'll stop now...)

i wish for a creamy caramel latte right now!! on my desk here.. in a cup...

robyn

luckythirteenxxx

09-03-2003, 11:37 AM

Wish granted, of course, it's a 6-day-old latte with dead fruit flies in it, but hey!

I wish I was telekinetic.

Redandpinkdaisy

09-03-2003, 12:06 PM

Granted! You're telekinetic, but everything you move using your powers breaks.

I wish for a million ATCs.

Sirius

09-03-2003, 12:20 PM

Wish granted...a million ATCs all had crafted by my 4 year old nephew. ATCs or rectangles of paper with scribble -- you decide.

I wish to live happily every after, with Brian, who will continue to love me and I will love him, with enough money to stay in our home and be able to travel a few times a year, with all of our health (including hearing, eyesight, kidneys etc) in tow, with all of our family alive but at a well managed distance, for atleast another 60 years, with the earth not in utter chaos, and with fresh flowers delivered daily.

;) <_< :D

nymphette

09-03-2003, 01:26 PM

GRANTED!!! whew, tall order....

however... the flowers- roses- are so wonderfully and sweetly scented that swarms of bees follow the delivery guy, who is allergic, and gets stung... he becomes comatose and he dies and his greedy... er... bereft family sues you for everything you've got... including your daily flower delivery... :(

i wish for george bush to turn into curious george.... ;)

robyn

obsoletepostergrrrl

09-03-2003, 02:00 PM

granted... but somehow, no one sees any difference (except for a little more fur) and the U.S. keeps going down the same road to hell only faster. georgie becomes more popular due to his cue new look and get re-elected.

I wish I didn't have to pay tuition for grad school....

kittymao

09-03-2003, 03:04 PM

well.
Okay.
you don't have to pay anymore.
At least...
Not with money.
You'll now pay in ears of corn.
and at the rate corn seems to be going, you'll be giving your grad school two ears for ever bill.
Have to sort of DROP-OUT of school to keep the corn in tip-top condition.
Oh, by the by, the Grad school likes BLUE corn.

Redandpinkdaisy

09-03-2003, 04:38 PM

kitty you forgot to wish !!

kittymao

09-03-2003, 05:59 PM

Oh. I was so wrapped up in Corn. teh heh.
Okay...

I wish for more goauche. Not a lot, just one tube of every color in the winsor newton palette. well, two of black and white. Please.

mejaka

09-03-2003, 07:10 PM

You've got it! Beautiful colors. NOt those bitty sample tubes, either. These are full-sized, in every shade imaginable, plus two of black and two of white.

Unfortunately, they were castoffs from a warehouse fire. Not burned, but the paint's dried up and the lids permanently fused on...

I wish I could meet--and take a series of classes from--Irene Wellington.

Lilac

09-03-2003, 07:35 PM

Granted! You do indeed meet and take classes from Irene Wellington, but she's the other Irene Wellington...the flakey one who lives in the bronx and takes plaster casts of famous men's penises. Unfortunately, she hasnt yet met any really famous men and has been practising on drunks from the local tavern. You become her apprentice!

I wish I could go to Maine this Fall.

kittymao

09-03-2003, 07:53 PM

Okay.
Here's some change. Catch the #23, and get off at Johnson, and transfer to the #12 and that should get you to Main.

Oh. MAINE.
whoops. my bad. :blink:

I wish I could get rid of all this crappy paint. (see above)

Lilac

09-03-2003, 08:03 PM

Wish granted! Instead of crappy paint, you gets tons and tons of tubes full of...CRAP!

I wish I had a Newfoundland puppy.

TanielAnn

09-03-2003, 09:52 PM

And you get a Newfoundland doggie! Only it's an Old newfoundland dog and never was potty trained! And he likes his Ale and Whiskey and to chase the neighbors chairs around the yard! He has a very bad drooling problem and thinks he can fit on your lap, but he weights in at 200 pounds!

<hr>

I wish I could write, speak, and understand every language in the world.

Curlita

09-03-2003, 10:16 PM

Poof! You can write, understand, and speak every language in the world. But it takes you so long to cycle through them in order to get to the correct one for your conversation partner, that no one has the patience to wait around and talk to you.

I wish I could meet John Irving.

Sirius

09-03-2003, 10:36 PM

Wish granted. Mr. John Irving, he's a landscaper from South Carolina, who loves to tell stories about his vacation to Nebraska in 1962. Of course, he has this strange accent that makes you have to sit real close and listen real carefully to understand him, and he has terrible halitoisis. I hope you weren't looking to meet that World According to Garp guy....

I wish the Nervousness forums had spell check so that I didn't have to send this out with haliotosis spelled wrong.

qchan

09-03-2003, 10:54 PM

Wish granted, all your spanish will now be spelled corectly.

I wish I could go to school in my town ^^ (Like college)

Meika

09-03-2003, 10:58 PM

You can go to school there every day because you get hired on as a gym teacher. Your class is full of pimply faced young boys who smell like wet puppies because they are going through puberty.

I wish my tooth would stop hurting.

KitLove

09-03-2003, 11:35 PM

granted, because you don't have any teeth left.

I wish my sleeping boyfriend next to me would stop snoring

Redandpinkdaisy

09-04-2003, 12:06 AM

Granted ! Your boyfriend doesn't snore anymore, because he has no head. Hee.

I wish I had some more peanut M&Ms. :( I ate mine all up.

KitLove

09-04-2003, 12:10 AM

(first off...sometimes I wish he didn't have a head...than he couldn't rag on me all the time :)

Your wish is granted...but you mouth is so dry you cannot eat anything.

I wish that my roomate will have the appartment cleaned by the time I get home tomorrow

ninerfan_11

09-04-2003, 01:02 AM

Wish granted, but your roomie got rid of your most important valuables in the process.

I wish I could play the guitar.

Redandpinkdaisy

09-04-2003, 01:32 AM

You can play the guitar, and amazingly well. Trouble is, you play guitar 6 hours everyday. And all the music you can remember how to play is the Song That Never Ends.....(Yes it goes on and on my friend.....) And everytime you look at guitar music, the notes look like chinese letters. What a horrible song to be stuck with, forever !!

I wish I had 2 puppies.

crazychota

09-04-2003, 03:22 AM

ok, you have two puppies but they are hyperactive, they destroy every single thing in your room (including that art stuff you spent two years working on it) and they dont stop barking evilly to the postman who is really frightened to come to your home (which means no more mail stuff!)

(for me it would me nightmare...)

i wish i could study for half an hour without getting bored...

Cuilanië

09-04-2003, 03:23 AM

[Aaarggggh! What is it with me this morning?]

Granted. You can study for half an hour... but only for half an hour every day. You'll never get anything done at that rate! mwahhhahaha!

I wish I had a bigger appartment.

[further edited to correct a typo]

crazychota

09-04-2003, 03:30 AM

wish granted! you ahve a 1000 sq m appartment on one of the nicely sunny caribbean islands near the beach which is full of palm trees and you can drink cocktails everywhen in the day. The problem is that in your house there is no roof which means that all the nice sun is giving you a skin cancer in 48 h.

i wish i wasnt that net addict!

Cuilanië

09-04-2003, 03:44 AM

Granted! You join me in all those spiffy 12-step programs (see a much earlier post by Rustell), and start to drink to get in to AA, become an alcoholic, your life goes down the drain... The upside is you no longer own a computer and don't have money to go to cybercafés. ;->

I wish I could track down all the people I've lost contact with over the years... (I've moved around a lot)

Thanks for the wonderful appartment, btw! lol

crazychota

09-04-2003, 03:51 AM

wish granted! omg! see, thats sandy, n there is lisa, wow, here comes peter... but... werent they all dead?? damn, you were knocked down by an old lady riding a pink bike, some years after that the world exploded because of the global warmth and all your friends died too. now you are getting tanned on hell.

i wish my dog would become a person and we could happily marry! *lol*

Cuilanië

09-04-2003, 04:26 AM

Ooooooooh... wish granted... *evil evil EVIL grin*
Your dog becomes a person. He now has a human body and everything, but he retains all of his dog's personality and behavior patterns. It takes you ~years~ to retrain him, to keep him from marking his territory, teach him to talk instead of bark and whine... You sure you want to do this? Hadn't you had him neutered???

I wish I could stop having all these selfish, superficial wishes...

KitLove

09-04-2003, 07:10 AM

wish granted, but now all your wishes being granted are for the good of other people...so they hate you because the evil genie is making their lives hell :)

I wish I had a computer at home so that I did not have to go to the library all the time

crazychota

09-04-2003, 07:31 AM

wish granted! you have a super new pc at home, last model, 7000000000000000000 Kb of memory, hyperfast connection, etc. you enjoy it, after the police arrest you for stealing computers (hey! evil genies arent that rich!), so you go to the jail, you got raped by your mates, have to drink their pees after they have shit on you (*yuk* and thats just after ive lunched! imagine...), they find that you were the one who tried to escape -it was really your next"door" mate- and decide getting you inside "the dark room" (it has nothing to do with star wars) where youll spent the rest of your life damning the evil genie for giving you a f*cking new pc.

i wish i had done better on my last tuesday exam

girl-who-loves-sharks

09-04-2003, 08:26 AM

i wish i had done better on my last tuesday exam

Wish granted, dearie, but now the teacher has decided that you are the smartest one in the class and is making you tutor the slack-jawed moron who slouches in late every day.

I wish I would be nominated for a MacArthur fellowship.
http://www.macfound.org/programs/fel/fel_overview.htm

mejaka

09-04-2003, 10:23 AM

Granted! Not only are you nominated--you are awarded a large fellowship for your incredible creativity and vision. The local paper does a huge article on you, which is passed along by a distant cousin of Matt Lauer, who decides you'd make a great interview. You do, and the folks from All Things Considered hear about it and call you for a radio interview.

Here's where things start to turn. First, you're hounded by lots of small-time media people, and you can't even get past them into your own studio. The stress causes creative block. You spend half your time yelling at reporters to go away, and the other half screaming in frustration at your inability to do any worthwhile creative work, despite having a nearly unlimited supply of all the materials yo'uve always dreamed of. Then you lose your voice, and the doctor says it will take weeks of silence to heal your vocal chords. Meanwhile, all those reporters file stories, characterizing you very badly, and criticizing your work. Months go by, and you produce nothing at all, which the reporters also file stories about. And finally, the MacArthur people call to tell you that, for the first time in history, they've decided to revoke a fellowship.

I wish I had a personal chef.

obsoletepostergrrrl

09-04-2003, 10:57 AM

your wish is granted. unfortunately, your chef is illiterate so he is constantly mixing up flour and sugar, hot sauce and ketchup, and where did that bottle of emergency ipecac go?

I wish my coworkers would quit feeding the evil crows outside our window so they would go away and leave us alone.

Seusomon

09-04-2003, 11:01 AM

Your coworkers stop feeding them, and they leave, but then all show up at your house and fly in when you open the front door. And they won't leave.

I wish I could swim.

Sirius

09-04-2003, 01:02 PM

I love it when I am reading through the posts and I see my name, as in Cuailanie referreing back to my post....it gives me the warm fuzzies. Yep, that sense of belonging is right there in the middle of the hierarchy of needs....

Where was I?

Swimming, yes, alright, alright, wish granted, you can swim. Remember that theory of for everything you learn, you forget something? No more walking for you! So, you swim around all pruny all the time. It's not all bad though, you are now gainfully employed as a tour/scuba guide diving down to look at sunken ships. Of course you don't really need the income since you now live in and off of the sea, hope you like sushi. Hey, I am not an evil enough genie, I'll even let you crawl onto the beach to sleep. OH NO! While sleeping on the beach, P.T. Barnum scoops you up and puts you in a tank for his human oddity collection! "The One who Swims but Yet not Walks."

geez, what can I wsih for now...

I wish that my eyes(which will remain in my sockets and functioning thank you) were not burning.

Side fact about Rustell, she's one of those people who doesn't like stuff to touch her eyes, and has to have a team effort and about 20 minutes to put in eyedrops.

Geez Rustell, shut up already.

kperrty

09-04-2003, 03:29 PM

Wish granted...your eyes no longer burn and are still in their sockets and functional. But now they constantly water. Like a faucet that won't turn off.

I wish that my husband had a clue :P

venus28976

09-04-2003, 06:35 PM

Wish granted...your husband has a clue because he can now read your mind...every single little thing that you think about...like that your mailman has a cute ass and you hate how your hubby won't clean up after himself and all the other evil little thoughts that you have in the course of a normal day....he now knows them all and he gets so annoyed with you that the two of you are constantly fighting and eventually you wind up getting divorced

Hmmm...now what to wish for....I wish that my room would magically clean itself and put everything back where it belonged in perfect working order with nothing broken or missing and everything clean and neat and tidy.

kperrty

09-04-2003, 07:30 PM

wish granted.....your room is self cleaning....unfortunatly it no longer allows you to move, change ANYTHING in its quest to stay perfect. You now live in a museum.

I wish that my allergies were gone

nymphette

09-04-2003, 09:19 PM

GRANTED...

although this is the end of the world as we know it (but YOU feel fine...) goodbye pollen and flowers... good bye dander and cats and dogs... good bye mold and pennicillin and wheat and flour and bread and cake... goodbye grass and all the little creatures that live in it and eat it and the ones who eat them....

<evil grin!!!>

i wish for.... perfect neighbors that don't make noise or pollute or water on the wrong day wrecking our water pressure, or any of a hundred things i have noticed the past month or three!!!

robyn

Meika

09-04-2003, 09:31 PM

Granted. You have perfect neighbors but their pets are another story. The dogs pee on your lawn daily making it turn brown and ugly, the cats have such bad fleas that they infest your house too, and the ducks they have living in the pool like to crap on your car. Your neighbors always bring you yummy cakes and stuff in an attempt to make amends but it's hardly enough.

I wish I didnt have to shave my legs or armpits anymore and not because I'm super hairy either.

glitterfly

09-04-2003, 10:18 PM

No no, you don't have to shave your legs or armpits. You have to shave your back and get rid of that pesky ear hair instead. Eew. Thinking about ear hair never ceases to make me cringe.

I wish I could be a cat... :D

Meika

09-04-2003, 11:34 PM

Ewwww. The not super hairy part didnt work at all. :huh: blech!

You are a beautiful fluffy cat with long hair and sparkling eyes. Unfortunately your owners don't see you for the charmer you really are so they take you to the groomers for a Lion Cut and then toss you into the barn where you are forced to catch mice all day. Every time you don't fill your quota of mice (you hardly ever do) they toss you into the dog kennel for a few hours so Brutus and Hank the twin hounddogs can have their way with you.
http://www.persian-cats.com/images/lioncuts.jpg

I wish I had perfectly straight pearly white teeth. :D

kittymao

09-05-2003, 12:48 AM

Straight, perfect, pearly white teeth?
Ohkay.
You now have the teeth of a Walrus.

I wish someone would punish the idiots who shave their persians. *points above*
idiots.

Cuilanië

09-05-2003, 06:13 AM

Poor things! :(

Wish granted - they're condemned to wear ridiculous hairstyles to make them aware of how bad those kitties must feel. To avoid bad karma for wishing this on them, so are you. ;->

[oops!]
I wish I had a clone double who could go to work in my place (but wouldn't take over my life, need to eat or spend any money).

crazychota

09-05-2003, 07:51 AM

wish granted! your clone goes to work daily perfectly on time, he does everything perfect, till the point your boss promotes him. Now he earns about $ 10000000 a month. Does that sound good? yeah, of course! but you forgot.. as he is the same as you, hes not that dumb. he has opened a bank account in hte barbados whre he spends the weekends drinking martiniis with blondies. He has bought a new Porsche, ten houses and travels everywhere! now, who cares about taking over your boring pseudo-artistic life?! yes, while he is having an amazing life, you keep home doing nothing else than being connected. uh! and forgot to tell that since your clone changed the banks stuff you now dont have the money to pay the internet connection so the only thing is left for you to do is to rest.

i wish i hadnt almost fired rite now the kitchen trying to fry some stuff.

Cuilanië

09-05-2003, 08:07 AM

Why do I keep being mistaken for a man?!? LOL Even the gender test got fooled!
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Honestly, bring back that male clone of mine, I wanna marry him! hehehe

Your wish is granted. You didn't ~almost~ fire your kitchen, you burned your house down to the ground! You barely escaped with your life!

(Seriously, I hope you didn't hurt yourself with that frying pan or what. Are you OK?)

I wish the sun would shine today.

Lilac

09-05-2003, 08:21 AM

Poof! The sun IS shining...and you're in it...alone...stranded....in the middle of the Sahara Desert. Have a good day! :)

I wish I had something fun to do this weekend.

Cuilanië

09-05-2003, 09:16 AM

Granted! You get to spend the week-end touring the world's amusement parks - magically transported by moi, your friendly neighbourhood genie, of course! Three hours here, four hours there, no time for food, now, we're going for the Guinness World record of the most parks visited in one week-end!

Needless to say, you'll need a week to recover and your feet will never be the same... <grin, grin, grin> Serves you right for sending me to the Sahara after I've spent August enduring one of the worst heat waves France has ever known! :lol:

I wish my job would allow me to shave my head or dye my hair funky colors...

sarahkate

09-05-2003, 09:56 AM

*WISH GRANTED*..... now your employer not only allows you to to shave your head or dye your hair funky colors...but they require it! You will never again be allowed to have "normal" hair if you want to work for them...and if your hair style doesn't please them you will be fired at once!

I wish my doggy, Delilah, could speak to me!

delahofer

09-05-2003, 10:09 AM

wish granted....but delilah only speaks in explitives and is verbally abusive, don't dare ask her if your butt looks big in anything.

i wish it wasn't so hot to live here, 104 yesterday.

obsoletepostergrrrl

09-05-2003, 10:16 AM

wish granted. it is never too hot. the warmest day of the year is only -15 degrees...

I wish traffic wasn't so lousy

luckythirteenxxx

09-05-2003, 10:49 AM

Granted! The traffic suddenly moves forward to your whim, and the lights are green, but unfortunately, your engine has seized because the Oil Fairy did not visit in the last 16,000 miles!

I wish I had a garden for my considerable green thumb....

Cuilanië

09-05-2003, 11:24 AM

Originally posted by sarahkate@Sep 5 2003, 05:56 PM
*WISH GRANTED*..... now your employer not only allows you to to shave your head or dye your hair funky colors...but they require it! You will never again be allowed to have "normal" hair if you want to work for them...and if your hair style doesn't please them you will be fired at once!
That's a problem!!?! :lol:

I wish I had a garden for my considerable green thumb....
Granted. You are the sole caretaker of a HUGE estate. You have to do everything by yourself, the lawn, the flower beds, the shrubbery, the Renaissance themed gardens, even the woods and the vegetable bed!

Oh, and you have to do it all by hand. Your employer doesn't believe in technology. Doesn't believe in any kind of plant-health products or fertilizers other than the naturally produced, either. Lucky you, you double as the stable-girl... hehehe

I wish I didn't have an hour commute to get home...

nymphette

09-05-2003, 11:40 AM

granted... you have been evicted from your apartment (or house or townhome or condo... :) ) and now have to live in the public bathroom across the street from your work... and share it with the three homeless women there who have a phobia about washing, thinking that if soap and/or water touches their body they will melt into a little dirtly puddle.... there is a mcdonald's down the street, which you wont' have to drive to either, but since the odd sisters stole all your money, you'd be eating out back in the dumpster!!! at least you dont' hve to commute anymore!!! ;)

i wish my water cooler was filled with mango juice!!!

robyn

kittymao

09-05-2003, 11:59 AM

ta da!
Mango juice in your cooler.
Three month old mango juice- with something in it.
You can't tell what exactly it is, the juice is too opaque- but it MIGHT have fur.

I wish I had a closer post office.

Lilac

09-05-2003, 01:52 PM

Wish granted! You are shrunk down to the size of an ant and actually LIVE in a post office box...kind of like those "locker creatures" in Men in Black II (hope you've seen that!). Unfortunately, because of your size, you can no longer participate in normal life.

I wish I had a new kayak!

Seusomon

09-05-2003, 02:02 PM

You get your kayak. Unfortunately, it comes with a big hairy lumberjack named Jake, who smells bad, drinks a six-pack of beer every hour, talks too much, and will not be left behind when you go kayaking.

I wish I could have 5 years off work, with full pay and benefits!

luckythirteenxxx

09-05-2003, 02:08 PM

Originally posted by Cuilanië@Sep 5 2003, 08:24 PM

Granted. You are the sole caretaker of a HUGE estate. You have to do everything by yourself, the lawn, the flower beds, the shrubbery, the Renaissance themed gardens, even the woods and the vegetable bed!

Oh, and you have to do it all by hand. Your employer doesn't believe in technology. Doesn't believe in any kind of plant-health products or fertilizers other than the naturally produced, either. Lucky you, you double as the stable-girl... hehehe

believe it or not, i'm proud of my mucking talents.
where do I sign up???

heh. this is kinda like Faust for me....

;)

Seusomon, wish granted! One day during your first year off with full pay and benefits, you enjoy a day at the racetrack. Unfortunately, you got a bad tip and bet on the wrong pony! Now Junior "Lucky" Locatelli wants his vig, and boy, does he want it *now*! You'll spend the rest of your 5 years off with full pay and benefits on making good with "Lucky"!

I wish I were a racehorse jockey!

obsoletepostergrrrl

09-05-2003, 04:03 PM

wish granted! you are a racehorse jockey strap. ewwwww, stinkey....

I wish office memos weren't printed on hot pink paper that makes me see spots when I try to read it.

Cuilanië

09-05-2003, 04:37 PM

granted. Now they're printed on fluo green paper that makes you see spots... :>

I wish I was more confident

KitLove

09-05-2003, 05:07 PM

granted...too bad now everyone thinks you are cocky

I wish my car would stop breaking down

obsoletepostergrrrl

09-05-2003, 05:08 PM

oops... too late ...
okay, your wish is granted. your car no longer breaks down because you can't drive it. it has been hermetically sealed and placed under glass for its protection..

I wish I had more cute vintage dresses...

Meika

09-05-2003, 06:20 PM

You have a ton of cute vinatge dresses. Too bad they are vintage BARBIE dresses. :o

I wish my husband would stop being so snarky today. <_<

nymphette

09-05-2003, 07:54 PM

granted: i move time forward, so that it is midnight... but he is still snarky, but snarky tomorrow!!!

i wish my toothache in my wisdom tooth would disappear!!! (and not reappear in another tooth... ;) )

robyn

GraceGal

09-05-2003, 09:14 PM

Granted -- your pain is gone, so is the tooth (you don't need wisdom teeth), but the socket is infected and your wisdom is gone too! (sorry!)

I wish I could lose 30 pounds in one month!

Meika

09-05-2003, 09:44 PM

Granted. Unfortunately you didn't say which month so you lose 30 pounds the month after your 70th birthday along with some teeth and quite a bit of hair.

I wish I wasn't allergic to eggs. They make me sneeze.

Cuilanië

09-06-2003, 03:51 AM

Granted! You are no longer allergic to eggs. You can now eat all the omelettes, hard-boiled eggs, scrambled eggs, whatever kind of eggs you want. Only... you're allergic to cookng oil and butter now, instead.

I wish I could remember all those nice wishes I thought of while I was waiting at the doctor's office!!! lol

Sirius

09-06-2003, 08:22 AM

Wish granted. You remember all of them, you wish them, and they all come true!

In light of Cuilanie's recently foul metro experience the evil genie is taking on a soft heart and granted her wish sans evil.

I wish Phoenix had a low-cost, clean, safe, fast, efficient, five-star metro system that travelled to all parts of town and that I still lived here to be able to use it.

(edited for type-o)

Cuilanië

09-06-2003, 11:20 AM

Rustell, you're too sweet! :wub: Now I can't find it in me to ruin your wish... I'll let someone else have at it! :D

Sirius

09-06-2003, 12:49 PM

Ekk...it's been 3 hours and no one has gone evil genie on me, hoping one moment of nice genie didn't ruin the entire evil genie concept....

in other news...how long does the initial novelty of nervousness take to where off...over a month in and still checking the forums 8-10 times a day...i'm not fond of being addicted to things...I'd be much mor comfortable with my sanity if i only checked once or twice a day...

back to evil geniness...

Redandpinkdaisy

09-06-2003, 01:20 PM

I've been here more than a year, and I still check it all the time. Of course, there were a couple times where I wasn't doing projects and I was kind of burned out, and didn't check for a couple of weeks, and then WHAM! I was a nervous freak again. So I'd say the novelty doesn't wear off, exactly, it just kind of runs hot and cold. And there's no nice genies allowed in this game !!

Curlita

09-06-2003, 02:33 PM

I'm game to bring back the evil.

Phoenix DOES have a low-cost, clean, safe, fast, efficient, five-star metro system that travelled to all parts of town and you still live there. Unfortunately, your husband now works at an SUV dealership and you have to drive around in a HUMMER to advertise.

I wish I had a giant piece of chocolate cheese cake that was full-flavor and NO CALORIES.

Redandpinkdaisy

09-06-2003, 03:57 PM

You've got a huge piece of moist, creamy chocolate cheesecake in front of you. Calorie free, and the most delicious cheesecake imaginable. Trouble is, your jaw is wired shut and you're on a special post surgery diet, and all you are allowed to have is hot carrot mush through a straw. Too bad.

I wish for a big crunchy pile of leaves to jump in.

Sirius

09-06-2003, 04:08 PM

Wish granted...a big pile of crunchy leaves to fall on.

Duck! The environmentalists are throwing things at you! Your wish has caused all the trees in North American to lose their leaves early, thus throwing the environment into a state of chaos. There are concerns that the trees may never regrow their leaves. Further, snow plows are being worked 24/7 to try to clear the streets of all of the leaves. Those of us in Arizona don't have snow plows, so we have to wait for one to come in from out of state (Not me though, I'm in my new Hummer that Curlita the genie granted me). Additionally the birds all fly south too soon and the Auburn Society is marching around your home with lit torches. Additionally, the squirrels uprise.

Okay, I'm cracking up over the picture of uprising squirrels, and I always feel kind of strange when I make myself laugh, so I'll stop here....

Cuilanië

09-06-2003, 05:15 PM

Originally posted by Redandpinkdaisy@Sep 6 2003, 11:57 PM
You've got a huge piece of moist, creamy chocolate cheesecake in front of you. Calorie free, and the most delicious cheesecake imaginable. Trouble is, your jaw is wired shut and you're on a special post surgery diet, and all you are allowed to have is hot carrot mush through a straw. Too bad.
Oh Daisy, that's evil!!! lol

Rustell : you're cracking me up as well - I can just picture the squirrels that used to live outside my window uprising because I stopped giving them crackers... LOL But you forgot to post a wish for me to ruin... *grin*

[edited for typos]

Sirius

09-06-2003, 11:57 PM

It's hard to come up with all of the proper disclaimers for a wish...

I wish my old track ball still worked. I couldn't find the exact same one anywhere to replace it with...and I can't get use to the new location of the buttons on the new track ball. Now, that's a dull wish to rev up with an evil genie...

Cuilanië

09-07-2003, 12:16 AM

Granted. Your old trackball works again, but this genie isn't an electronics genius... We had to scrounge a whole bunch of spare parts because the original ones aren't manufactured anymore, and nothing quite fit into the original package... So your trackball is about 3 1/2 times its original size.

I wish I had a Nine Inch Nails CD to listen to right now...

Sirius

09-07-2003, 12:26 AM

Wish granted...you use Bearshare to download the songs and burn them onto a cd to listen to (shame on you)....so sit back and enjoy the tunes...the piracy police should be knocking on your door any second now...and boy are they mean. Hope they let you have that cd playing walkman in your new cell. The good news is you'll have spare time to lay about and heal!

I wish that I still liked my best friend. Oh that sounds even sadder than I feel about it. Our lives have taken us on separate paths for the past 2 years, and really ever time I visit with her I ask myself why I bother....but we've been friends for since junior high...16 years....so it's hard to make that decision to write off a friendship.

Yep, I threw in some guilt to make you feel bad about messing up my innocent wish....

Cuilanië

09-07-2003, 02:22 AM

LOL!!!!

I'm bone tired from staying up all night (see Artistic Delusions LMAO and the corresponding thread : weird idea... will it work? (http://nervousness.org/forums/index.php?act=ST&f=10&t=5156)) and here I am, giggling like a maniac over something that's not very funny, when you stop to think about it... I've lost contact with a guy who'd been my best friend since the middle of high school in circumstances like this. We just drifted apart...

So I'll grant your wish. You rediscover your best friend's qualities and start to like her again. But... And here's the really hard part... She moves to the new space station on the far side of Neptune and only comes back to Earth every 15 years. Tough luck!

I wish for a week's vacation... no strings attached!

Lilac

09-07-2003, 07:58 AM

Okay, you've got your week's vacation. Off to Majorca you go...except...no strings attached, huh? All of your bra staps disintigrate and for that week, you are unable to wear a bra. No problem you say? Well, for some mysterious reason, your breasts triple in size and sag to your waist. <evil grin> Enjoy your vacation!

I wish I could figure out how to get a cool avatar on my forums page and get rid of this lame-o leaf!

Sirius

09-07-2003, 10:36 AM

Viola! You set up a professional website just to host your rotating pictures for avatars (since free sites won't let you link for avatars). You are now spending $100 a month to have the best selection of avatars. Further, with your rotating avatars so it is always a new picture, no one recognizes you and always thinks you are "the new girl". Oh that won't matter much, for the host of this site that chose the leaf that you called "lame-o" sees the post and permantly bans you from the site. ;) <_<

I wish...that pop-up ads had never been thought of/created.

pantiesontherod

09-07-2003, 11:29 AM

ok they no longer exist
but alas you have to pay for every site that uses them
which includes your so called 'free' email addy
and your favorite site that you just have to look at at least 8 times a day
and - you dont have a credit card so you have to keep remembering to send in a cheque every few weeks.

i wish for my mum to be alive again

Sirius

09-07-2003, 11:42 AM

wish granted...your mum is alive again. (geez, sometimes I hate being mean)...but she is different....being back, she decides to live her life differently now, and she is all about "Me, me, me! I gave too much of myself the first time." So, she travels around the world, meeting new people and experiencing new things, and all you know of her is the occassional postcard. Yet, you are happy with this, becasue you are just happy to know she is alive and enjoying herself, even though you aren't (ready for the evilness) anywhere on her list of priorities when she has a second chance on life.

I wish that people would plan. (Have been living in a world of non-planers, example, the Community Center recently had a luau with the reservation date of 8/25, because we had to have the check to the caterers by 9/2. We changed the date to 9/1 to give people more time, by 9/1 we had 35 people signed up. Between 9/2 and 9/5 THE DAY OF THE EVENT, we had 40 more people try to sign up, Sorry, Charlie...)

pantiesontherod

09-07-2003, 11:47 AM

i dont care!
she never got to do those things first time round

so wish it was true!!!
i love my mum

auntieemu

09-07-2003, 12:18 PM

Wish granted, you are now in a world of planners. You find that you are the only person on the planet that acts with any spontaneity which makes you appear very irresponsible to other people.

You are shunned at first, then some well meaning people decide that you need therapy to help you with your problem, you wind up as a resident in the local mental health hospital. Your case preplexes the well organized doctors who find that other than your spontaneity, you are more sane than the rest of the patients. They decide that it would be best for you to keep you in a well planned environment. The spontinaty of your art perplexes them so they remove all access to art, including your favorite tools, magazines and the internet. Because your spontanity upsets the other patients, you are separated from the rest of the hospital residents. Because so few of the hospital staff want to work with you, your human contact is limited to the doctors assigned to your case. Your cell is completely automated.

You are awakened by automated voices at 6:00 am every morning instructing you to rise and shine. Your bed slides back into the wall as soon as you get up. By 7:00 you are expected to have completed all neccesities and be dressed for the day. Your meals are delivered at precisely 7:01 am, 12:01 pm and 6:01 pm. Your dishes are removed at 7:31 am, 12:31 pm, and 6:31 pm. When you do not finish your lunch tray on time for them to remove it, they remove it anyway because they must complete their plans. You get snacks at 10:01 am, 3:01 pm and 8:01 pm. You are not allowed to save the snacks for later, you must eat them at once. You are allowed to walk about the confines of your small private yard from 8:00 am to 10:00 am and 1:00 pm to 2:45 pm.

You find your yard bare and bleak, so you ask for permission to plant a flower garden. You are asked to provide a plan of the garden, but make the mistake of not knowing exactly when the flowers will bloom - so your request is denied.

You die alone in your well-planned environment but since it is all automated, are not found until the doctor makes his bi-monthly rounds 11 days later.

I wish I had a lovely rose garden with pink, red and white rose bushes in one corner of my yard.

Sirius

09-07-2003, 12:19 PM

good to hear...i wanted to find a way to be evil without being evil...

i had this creepy recurring dream when I was a child that my mother passed away, but I could visit her once a year (on an island of course) but everytime she tried to get me to eat these green moldy rotting cookies she made... it was strange....

okay, back to genieness...

<I think this was posted at the same time as the post responding to my wish>

Redandpinkdaisy

09-07-2003, 06:17 PM

I wish I had a lovely rose garden with pink, red and white rose bushes in one corner of my yard.

Granted! The rest of your yard is a big, squishy field of water and dog poop, all mixed up in a stninky mess, so you never get to go out and enjoy your roses.

I wish for happiness.

GraceGal

09-07-2003, 09:46 PM

Wish Granted ~ You are happy, however, you are happy ALL the time! You're happy when people you love pass away, you laugh and giggle at their funerals -- you are happy when you lose your job -- you are happy when you're in a car accident and your car is totaled -- you are happy when Nervousness.org no longer exists due to financial problems -- you get the idea . . . you can feel no other emotions BUT HAPPINESS, no anger, no sadness, etc.

I wish my cat Guinness could talk!

kittymao

09-07-2003, 09:52 PM

Poof!
He can.
And he really like curse words.
And blasphemies.
He's got a potty mouth.
Oh.
And he likes the taste of soap. Which means cleanign out his mouth won't help at all.

I wish I had synesthesia.

Cuilanië

09-08-2003, 09:43 AM

Granted! But this genie definitely is no genius at ANYTHING and has no idea what that is... We'll go with anesthesia, I know what that is, it sound close, must be pretty much the same thing, no? So you've got anesthesia. Every hour, one random part of your body goes totally numb and becomes useless until the hour's up!

I wish I'd slept more last night...

Seusomon

09-08-2003, 10:36 AM

Your wish is granted. You did sleep more last night. In fact, you haven't waked up yet, and so you never posted your wish, and so your wish wasn't actually granted. So that leaves you awake and sleep-deprived again!

I wish all my best friends lived in the same city as me.

Cuilanië

09-08-2003, 01:31 PM

~~lol~~

Granted! Your best friends are all changed into pigeons. They migrate to your city and all live in your back yard/fire escape/balcony/whatever...

I wish for inspiration

Lilac

09-08-2003, 08:23 PM

Voila! Inspiration comes in the form of "Stan", a 300 pound Elvis impersonater. You fall madly in love with him. He becomes your muse! You devote the rest of your life to creating velvet Elvis paintings, using Stan as your model. You and Stan live blissfully ever after.

I wish I had more stamina.

Cuilanië

09-09-2003, 05:05 AM

Granted! But stamina needs a lot of upkeep, so you spend all your time between running 15 miles a days, working out in your new, private gym (remember, stamina is all about LONG series of exercises - sustained effort, you know), and swimming in that ice-cold lake I just provided for your benefit. You compete in the Ironman triathlon every year. No time left for wimpy Nervousness endeavors!

[Hmm, this seems to be a recurring outcome of my evil-genieness... Must be some subconscious explanation to it... *g*]

I wish for a wild, passionate kiss (and not from Stan, thank you!) :lol:
by a handsome, considerate, wise, strong, intelligent man]

Seusomon

09-09-2003, 08:49 AM

Your wish is granted. (No genie required, I'll do the job myself *wink*). Unfortunately, my SO finds out about this and sends a stream of dark energy your way. You end up shriveling into a small, insect-like creature and spend the rest of your days scurrying around in overgrown fields and the remains of decaying trees.

I wish I could ride a bicycle.

kittymao

09-09-2003, 10:57 AM

ohkay!
You can ride a bicycle-
right into a tree!
every time.
Trees just pop up and you slam into them.
You're a bike-riding tree-magnet.
congrats.

I wish someone else could do my animation, like in the real business.

Cuilanië

09-09-2003, 02:20 PM

Originally posted by Seusomon@Sep 9 2003, 04:49 PM
(No genie required, I'll do the job myself *wink*)
{velvet-warm voice} Why, Tom, that's well worth the consequences! *blush and grin*

Kittymao - I grant you a 2-foot-high elf to do your animations.
The police find out instantly.
You're indicted for using slave-labor, harboring an illegal immigrant, and theft of intellectual property (direct translation from French - is that the correct expression in English?).
You can go to jail with a clear conscience, though - he'll keep on working while you're gone!

I wish I could learn to fly a plane

Seusomon

09-09-2003, 02:25 PM

You learn to fly a plane, and you fall in love with flying. You buy your own plane and spend huge amounts of money, until you can no longer pay your bills and lose everything you own.

I wish I could make a living writing books about things I love.

mejaka

09-09-2003, 02:42 PM

Zap! Seusomon, your first book is a book on contemporary spirituality, which is so devoid of the usual judgement and poser buzzwords and so full of real, sincere warmth that even Christians are recommending it to each other. Next, you publish a three-volume set on linguistic development that is thorough, scholarly, and yet completely readable. For your third book you shoot for a novel immersed in all the themes and pastimes that appeal to you, woven beautifully into a story that is called "seamless," "perfect," and "better than tantric sex" by various reviewers--and when it comes out--WHAM. The real celebrity begins.

You can't go anywhere. People mob you. They beg for you to bless their handkerchiefs, their Bibles, their herb gardens and their babies. People of all kinds try to seduce you at which they are reduced to shriveled buglike things by your SO, launching a police investigation into their disappearances, with you as the main suspect. Devotees break into your studio and make off with everything--raw metal, wall pieces, tools, even bits of your workstation--anything they think might have touched your hands. You can't do metalwork any more and don't even think about calligraphy.

Not only that, but once your collection of ATCs is discovered, all your friends are similarly hounded.

You call your publisher and your agent and your lawyer for help, all of whom say, "Calm down, Tom," and promise they'll work on it, and as soon as they are off the phone they mutter to their secretaries about how perfectly decent people become so DEMANDING when success hits...

...and meanwhile your fourth book sells 120,000 copies in the first two weeks.

I wish I had a complete alphabet of hand-carved stamps (I will someday, I just haven't gotten around to it yet...)

Cuilanië

09-09-2003, 04:09 PM

Granted! You have a complete Cyrillic alphabet, a complete Greek alphabet, a complete Japanese phonetic alphabet (there's a name for it, but I can't remember), a complete... you get the picture. But no Latin alphabet, we're all out.

I wish my writer's block would go away...

mejaka

09-09-2003, 04:54 PM

You got it! You're writer's block is totally gone. You have so many ideas they are just pouring out--and they're all GOOD! You can't stop writing. People try to talk to you and you can't stop writing. Your pen runs out of ink and you can't stop writing. Your computer crashes and you just type on........

I wish I wasn't so tired today that I:
1. Told Beverly Sewell (bad history here) that Beverly suggested I call her...when I meant May suggested it.
2. Tried to pick up my son at the wrong school.
3. Lost track of Seusomon halfway through that last scenario, and randomly subsituted hammerquill instead....

I just wish I wasn't so tired.

venus28976

09-09-2003, 05:24 PM

Evil genie grants your wish. You are full of energy. but everyone else in the world is exhausted including your lovely genie so no more wishes are being granted which makes all the sleepy tired people angry and since a lack of sleep and fatigue can mess with your emotions, all the other people in the world are not just a little angry, they are furious with you and storm your house and yell irrational things at you and in a fit of psychotic rage they kill you. Too bad for you.

Oh yeah, I wish I felt like my old happy, energetic, motivated, enthusiastic, self again.

atomic_cocktail

09-09-2003, 10:58 PM

Your wish is granted and you feel GREAT! but now you have the strange urge to dress up like a clown every once in awhile...

I wish I could travel all over the world.

Cuilanië

09-10-2003, 04:40 AM

Poof! You're transformed into an ant. One of those invasive kinds that form meta-colonies and are spreading around the world. In the course of your ant life, you get to visit them all!!! ;)

I wish I could turn back my biological age to 22 and keep it there for the rest of my life, while continuing to live my life!

brunahildm

09-10-2003, 06:09 AM

Wish granted, but the government has noticed that you never age, and you'll live out the rest of your life in a maximum security lab!

I wish I had quiet upstairs neighbors. (not what I usually wish for, but I don't want to know what you guys would come up with for a cure for type 1 diabetes!)

atomic_cocktail

09-10-2003, 08:20 AM

Wish granted... you never hear a peep out of them... but their apartment starts to eminate a funky cat piss smell. :huh:

I wish I could cook more than just pasta.

Cuilanië

09-10-2003, 10:24 AM

Wish granted - You are now the world's specialist in strange and exotic foods. You delight in cooking dishes nobody's ever heard of before, the more unusual the ingredients, the better! (I'll leave the details to y'all's imaginations. *g*)

But you still can't even cook a decent steak. ;)

I wish......... I wish I had more space to live in, store my books and my art/craft supplies, have separate areas for my computer, writing, and creation, a real kitchen, a bathroom with a real bath and not just a shower stall, a reading corner...

[I'm really starting to feel cramped in my appartment, but can't afford a bigger one - rent costs in Paris suck! :(]

auntieemu

09-10-2003, 11:05 AM

Wish granted, you are suddenly presented the opportunity to rent - for half what you are currently paying each month - a 5000 square foot loft near the center of Paris. You are assured that there is a kitchen and a bathroom. You notice that the next appointment is with Seusomon and you just know that he will rent it while you are out looking at it, so you grab the 20 year lease and sign.

Upon visiting the apartment you find that it is practically a blank slate. The kitchen and bathroom are not in the same room (bet ya thought I was gonna do that didn't ya?) and both are huge.

The kitchen has marble, oak and stainless steal countertops with separate work areas for baking, working with vegetables and a butcher's block for cutting meat. There are double stacked ovens, a microwave, dishwasher, absolutely huge double door refrigerator. There is even a lovely pantry off the kitchen that has a freezer.

The bathroom has both a shower and a spa, but no toliet. Instead it has a 'waste disposial unit' where you lift the lid and pour the refuse. You are told that it will be impossible to install an actual commode and that the system is acceptable to the city government.

The rest of the space is wide open, ceilings running from 15 to 20 feet and floor to celing windows running the entire length of one wall. While the light is wonderful, heating the area in the winter will be next to impossible..... especially since there is no actual heat in the apartment....... for that matter, the only places which have electricity in the apartment are the bathroom and the kitchen. The rest of the place is unlit and there are not even any electrical outlets for lamps or heaters.

There is no telephone or telephone line for your computer.

The apartment is on the 13th floor and there is no elevator.

Your friends refuse to visit after the first candle lit apartment warming party and your family just laughs when you invite them over.

Winter comes and it is too cold to paint, collage or do any of your art in the apartment. You look forward to work because there, at least, you are warm.

You spend the winter nights wrapped in an electric blanket on the floor of the kitchen. One evening you leave pots soaking in the sink and don't get the water completely turned off. The drip hits the handle of the pot which is sticking out at an angle, so you don't hear it. Slowly the sink fills up and over flows. A small trickle hits the electric blanket. Your body is found in the spring.

I wish I had one of those passioniate kisses headed my way.

auntieemu

09-10-2003, 11:20 AM

It occurs to me that I probably should have been more specific in who I wanted the kiss from....

Sirius

09-10-2003, 09:37 PM

Looking for a Frog Prince?

Yep..wish granted...the most precious passionate kiss of your life comes from the scum of a pond. Stop waiting, he will not turn into a prince.

I wish all your wishes would come true. (I really didn't want you to mess up my wish for an all-expenses relaxing, enlightening 3 week vacation, so I opted for this other wish.)

atomic_cocktail

09-10-2003, 09:43 PM

Granted... all my wishes come true and I have the ultimate power... nothing can stop me... every time I even think maybe I want something poof I have it... this throws the universe out of balance. It can not handle the chaos and self destructs.

man rustell i thought maybe you won the evil genie game... i almost didn't know what to write

I wish for 3 daisys

Sirius

09-10-2003, 09:54 PM

Ta-dah! You are the proud owner of 3 pairs of size 3 Daisy Duke short-shorts! Enjoy!

My downstairs bathroom is decorated in daisies. They are yet another thing that make me smile.

A simple wish...I wish that when I buy one of those bag-o-salads at the store, that they would last more than two days without turning brown. I can't eat that much salad in two days!

atomic_cocktail

09-10-2003, 10:07 PM

lol I feel your pain

and POOF your wish is granted they salad lasts FOREVER, it doesn't even break down in your stomach... after one bowl you feel ill.. the hospital has to pump your stomach...

i wish for a pretty sunset...

Sirius

09-10-2003, 10:13 PM

Well, we can just play this game all by ourselves, can't we atomic? Come to Arizona...we have lots and lots of beautiful sunsets....but why oh why would you wish that with an evil genie....

The most fantastically brilliant rainbow of colors sunset is granted for your viewing...appreciate it, take lots of pictures...for it is the last...yep, the sun does not also rise. Get ready for bigger electricity bills because the genie burned out the sun making that fantastic sun set for you and the earth is plunged into darkness. Have you any idea the effect not having a sun will have on us? Egads.

I wish...that I didn't have to floss.

atomic_cocktail

09-10-2003, 10:52 PM

lol... im just trying to think of something goofy that was hard to write back about. There are pretty sunsets in Arizona.. I used to go visit my dads side every summer for a month when I was a kid... even hiked the grand canyon. :D

Your wish is granted you never have to floss again in fact you don't even have to brush, your teeth gleen perfectly white. They seem to get whiter every day... so white in fact that people start to look at you funny. Your teeth become so freakishly clean you actaully take up chain smoking and drinking tons of coffee to try to bring them back to a normal tinge.

I wish for everlastingly clean dishes...

i don't think everlastingly is a word but I will use it anyways

Cuilanië

09-11-2003, 03:47 AM

<evil cackle> You should really be more careful what you wish for... ;>
You dishes are clean.
Always.
They like it that way.
They throw off anything that would dirty them.
Including what you were intending to serve for dinner, which is now splattered all over your kitchen ceiling - and your face.
Worse, they form a Dishes For Cleanliness League.
They indoctrinate every dish you buy, your pots and pans, the glasses, even the silverware.
Don't try the disposable plastic or paper plates, they're even more easily convinced... Made of flimsy stuff, you know.
You are reduced to eating raw food off the table with your fingers and drinking straight from bottles and cartons.

I wish I didn't have to learn everything the hard way.

auntieemu

09-11-2003, 09:05 AM

Granted, you do not have to learn EVERYTHING the hard way. You only have to be told something once or see it demonstrated to understand and replicate it. You learn languages easily and are brilliant at math. You are able to recreate works of art easily.

While you are able to make a living as a professional translator, math teacher, etc, You are unable to come up with a single original thought on your own.

You are also a very poor judge of character and any lessons in love are learned the hardest way of all, with your heart.

Cuilanië

09-11-2003, 09:16 AM

Originally posted by auntieemu@Sep 11 2003, 05:05 PM
any lessons in love are learned the hardest way of all, with your heart.
That's actually what I was talking about... :unsure: I should have made it clearer, sorry!

You forgot to post a wish, too...

atomic_cocktail

09-11-2003, 11:29 AM

I will add a wish to keep it going.

I wish for a complete darkroom to develop my photos

Sirius

09-11-2003, 11:59 AM

Your last wish took away the sun, doesn't that give you a dark enough room?
= )

atomic_cocktail

09-11-2003, 12:26 PM

haha true true...

okay I wish for the artistic ability to do anything I want (sculpt, photos, paint, weld etc etc)

nymphette

09-11-2003, 01:37 PM

granted:

though now you dont' know how to cook a decent meal... or edible for that matter, so you are forced to get take out every night, which would be fine if your house wasn't complete and utter chaos and a stinking mess!!! seems the artistic abilities have taken over your daily activity function and you no longer know how to clean... nor do you care, since you dont' leave your house anymore because you spend all your time creating beautiful works of art, and you have forgotten your friends even exist!!! ;)

i wish for... hm...

harrison to get his liver tranplant soon and be healthy and happy after!!!

robyn

gwensmom

09-11-2003, 01:44 PM

Now how are we supposed to "evil genie" something like that? :)

gwensmom

09-11-2003, 02:06 PM

Oh wait- I've got it..

Harrison gets a liver transplant and grows up happy and healty but then goes off and never calls or visits his sweet sweet momma who went through so much with him.

I'm wishing for a regime change in 2004!

atomic_cocktail

09-11-2003, 02:20 PM

good one gwensmom.... i wasn't gonna touch that one with a ten foot stick.

nymphette

09-11-2003, 02:37 PM

wwaaaahhh!!! <missing her chubby-long-gone-left-me-for-another-woman-baby- boy> heh heh...

edited because i can't type.

Seusomon

09-11-2003, 03:08 PM

Originally posted by gwensmom@Sep 11 2003, 02:06 PM
I'm wishing for a regime change in 2004!
You get your wish. Slimy green aliens invade planet Earth and make us all into slaves. They also smell bad.

I wish more people were posting on the forums today.

gwensmom

09-11-2003, 03:10 PM

Are they friends of Alienspy? Alienspy, do you smell bad?

Cuilanië

09-11-2003, 03:20 PM

Originally posted by Seusomon@Sep 11 2003, 11:08 PM
I wish more people were posting on the forums today.
granted. EVERYONE who has ever registered here tries to post at the same time, making the servers crash for half a day. (I wish to apologize straight away to the BoD for making this happen... don't yell at me! :blink:) :lol:
Seriously though, whenever I log on at noon here, I'm often the only one online. Very creepy feeling when the Nervous House is empty...

I wish the French politicians would stop bickering and accusing each other of all the sins of humanity and actually do something worthwhile like governing this country properly for a change...

AlienSpy

09-11-2003, 05:16 PM

Originally posted by gwensmom@Sep 11 2003, 05:10 PM
Are they friends of Alienspy? Alienspy, do you smell bad?
No, I never smell bad :rolleyes:

I just got out of the shower actually so I smell really good right now B)

Julie the nice and yummy smelling alien spy

gwensmom

09-11-2003, 05:28 PM

I thought so :P

VeronicasLovebug

09-11-2003, 06:51 PM

Originally posted by Cuilanië@Sep 11 2003, 04:20 PM
I wish the French politicians would stop bickering and accusing each other of all the sins of humanity and actually do something worthwhile like governing this country properly for a change...
Your wish is granted, however...monkeys have now replaced the french politicians

I wish that it was november instead of september because then i would be able to be with my girl :) hehe

Lilac

09-11-2003, 08:08 PM

Wish Granted. It is November, 2066. You and your girl sit in matching wheechairs in the old folks home, drooling and peeing your pants.

I wish my dog would stop peeing on the floor!

(Sorry about the "pee" theme throughout...but I just finished cleaning up yet ANOTHER puppy puddle on the kitchen floor...Arrrggghhhhh!)

Sirius

09-11-2003, 08:25 PM

Wish granted...no more peeing on the floor. Have you heard of vinyl sheets? Guess where puppy pees now! Yep. On the bed! Better sleep on the sofa tonight!

I wish that people were nicer.

atomic_cocktail

09-11-2003, 08:39 PM

Wish granted! People are soo sickingly nice and pc that it is intorable. No one is ever rude or mad or forgets their manners. You look like this horriable person compared to everyone.

I wish for all my wasted days back. (time spent in front of the tv, or just bored cause I was too lazy to try to think of something to do)

Seusomon

09-11-2003, 08:56 PM

No, I never smell bad [rolleyes.gif]

I just got out of the shower actually so I smell really good right now [cool.gif]

Julie the nice and yummy smelling alien spy

Sheez, Julie - have a heart. The photo thing was bad enough - I don't need olfactory reinforcement. :D

Atomic, you get all those days back. Unfortunately, every time you want to use one of them, you have to "sign it out" and then provide a double-spaced written report on the use you made of it. These are all filed by an extremely humorless, anal-retentive bureaucrat who will hassle you for hours about requesting another day, unless the way you used the last one meets her strict criteria of acceptability.

I wish for nothing different at all - I'm the happiest I've ever been!

atomic_cocktail

09-11-2003, 09:00 PM

Your wish is granted! Nothing changes... EVER! (think groundhog's day the movie) Everyday is EXACTLY the same as the one before... sure its great for a week... maybe even great for a year but soon it starts to wear on you... after 3 years you start hearing things and seeing nosies... after 5 a babbling lunatic...

I wish for super ninja powers :ph34r:

Sirius

09-11-2003, 09:10 PM

Granted. You have super ninja powers. I hope you have super ninja energy because everyone expects you to take care of all their problems. You get calls at all hours of the night and day to help solve this and that, and to kick butt and such. You never get to sleep anymore, and all rhough you still have the no how and such you become too tired to even lift a ninja throwing star.

I wish my former employer would stop trying to make me miserable, and stop causing problems for me with new employers. Already had to quit one job because of her....

atomic_cocktail

09-11-2003, 09:20 PM

Wish granted. Your old employer seems to drop off the face of the earth. You never hear from her again. You get the next job you apply for and the absolutly *love* you. They want you to work all the time. They call you at home just because. It seems like they have been permantly implanted in your ass.

I wish for a maid to do all the housework I am currently neglecting doing chain games.

Sirius

09-11-2003, 09:27 PM

Oh, wait, the second part of that is almost true. She does call me at home just because. I wouldn't say she is implanted anywhere, but she does have best friend potential. = )

Poof. Maid, does housework. She throws out all of your craft stuff "Too much clutter." And, she sleeps with your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend/significant other/poodle when you aren't looking. And, she really just swept everything under the stove.

really, I'm in my foulest mood of months, perhaps I shouldn't be doing evil genie...because that was just going for mean without fun. Okay, the poodle part was a bit fun.

I wish I could go back to a few hours ago